THE     MODERN     DRAMA     SERIES 
EDITED    BY   EDWIN    BJORKMAN 


PAPA    •    BY     ZOE     AKINS 


- 


PAPA 


AN  AMORALITY  IN  THREE  ACTS 


BY 

ZOE  AKINS 
fl 


NEW   YORK 

MITCHELL   KENNERLEY 
MCMXIII 


COPYRIGHT,  1913,   MITCHELL    KENNERLEY 


CONTENTS 

PAGE 

INTRODUCTION  vii 

PAPA 

PAPA'S  JEWELS  1 

MB.  RODERICK'S  MAGNANIMITY  35 

PAPA'S  FUTURE  67 


343508 


INTRODUCTION 

ZOE  AKINS  was  born  in  1886  at  Humansville,  a 
small  town  in  the  Ozark  Mountain  region  of 
Missouri,  but  her  home  has  been  at  St.  Louis  since  she 
was  eleven.  On  her  mother's  side  she  is  a  descendant 
from  that  Earl  of  Pembroke  who  is  best  known  to  his 
tory  as  Shakespeare's  friend.  Her  maternal  grand- 
uncle  was  Duff  Green,  a  Southern  newspaper  editor, 
whose  appointment  as  Public  Printer  in  1829  was  the 
first  manifestation  of  President  Jackson's  new  theory 
of  office-holding  —  "  to  the  victors  belong  the  spoils." 
Numerous  members  of  her  mother's  family  have  been 
engaged  in  literary  pursuits  of  one  kind  or  another. 
Her  father  has  for  many  years  been  prominent  in  the 
affairs  of  the  Republican  party  and  is  now  Postmaster 
of  St.  Louis.  She  had  two  years  of  schooling  at  the 
Monticello  Seminary,  of  Godfrey,  111.,  and  two  more  at 
Hosmer  Hall  in  St.  Louis.  But  her  hopes  of  entering 
either  Radcliffe  or  the  University  of  Chicago  were 
foiled  by  serious  illness. 

At  seventeen,  while  her  parents  were  away,  she  joined 
for  a  time  the  Odeon  Stock  Company,  then  playing  in 
St.  Louis.  The  one  immediate  satisfaction  she  got  out 
of  this  step  lay  in  the  excitement  it  created  among  her 
friends.  But  in  the  end  she  carried  off  valuable  lessons 
in  stagecraft  and  a  wholesome  conviction  that  she 


viii  INTRODUCTION 

would  never  care  to  become  an  actress.  While  still  a 
mere  child,  she  had  been  writing  verse  and  trying  her 
hands  at  plays,  one  of  which  was  performed  by  her 
schoolmates  at  Hosmer  Hall.  After  her  experience  on 
the  stage,  she  began  to  write  critical  articles  for  the 
St.  Louis  Mirror  and  "  specials  "  for  the  daily  news 
papers  —  mostly  as  a  "  means  toward  adventure." 
She  was  anxious  to  meet  visiting  celebrities,  and  her 
wish  was  frequently  fulfilled.  Thus,  for  instance,  she 
became  acquainted  with  Julia  Marlowe,  whose  friend 
ship  and  advice  have  exercised  considerable  influence 
on  her  subsequent  progress  as  a  writer.  It  was  Miss 
Marlowe  who  made  her  study  the  great  European 
dramatists  and  who  taught  her  "  to  demand  a  larger 
thing  of  a  play  than  the  play  itself." 

At  seventeen  she  completed  her  first  real  stage  play, 
"  The  End  of  the  Strike."  It  dealt  with  a  situation 
almost  identical  with  the  one  lately  existing  in  West 
Virginia,  and  she  says  of  it  that  "  it  was  no  more  ab 
surd  than  the  average  play  produced  on  Broadway." 
At  nineteen  she  wrote  a  verse  drama,  "  Iseult,  the  Fair," 
which  was  "  almost  produced  and  almost  published." 
During  the  same  year  she  wrote  also  a  number  of  poems 
which  won  her  increasing  recognition.  Since  then  she 
has  produced  the  following  dramatic  works  which  have 
not  yet  been  printed  or  performed :  "  The  Voice,"  1907, 
a  one-act  play,  with  the  action  laid  in  a  Turkish  harem 
and  the  principal  character  appearing  only  as  a  voice ; 
"The  Wandering  Shepherd,"  1907,  a  masque;  "The 
Sin,"  1909,  a  modern  drama  in  four  acts  with  heredity 
as  its  main  theme;  "  The  Meddler,"  1909,  a  play  about 
anarchism;  "The  Learned  Lady,"  1910,  a  comedy; 
"  Clemence,"  1911,  a  psychological  study  in  one  act. 


INTRODUCTION  ix 

Her  first  volume  of  verse  was  published  in  1912  and 
met  with  a  great  deal  of  approval  on  both  sides  of  the 
Atlantic.  Though  all  the  poems  in  it  possess  undeni 
able  charm,  the  volume  would,  to  me,  seem  pretty  much 
like  any  other  collection  of  minor  poetry  but  for  cer 
tain  significant  passages  in  such  poems  as  "  Mary 
Magdalen,"  "One  Woman"  and  "The  Sisterhood." 
In  these  passages  there  is  displayed  an  independence  of 
attitude  and  expression  that  strongly  suggests  their 
author  as  one  of  the  voices  of  the  new  womanhood. 

"  Papa,"  the  play  hereby  given  to  the  public,  is  a 
little  masterpiece  that  places  its  creator  with  such 
typical  representatives  of  the  genre  as  Arthur  Schnitz- 
ler,  the  Dane  Gustav  Wied  and  the  author  of  "  The 
Dolly  Dialogues."  Like  the  work  of  these  men,  that 
of  Miss  Akins  seems  on  the  surface  to  be  "  for  amuse 
ment  only,"  while  to  the  penetrating  mind  it  yields  a 
social  satire  which,  in  spite  of  its  good  temper  and  its 
exquisite  playfulness,  buries  its  biting  lash  beneath  the 
callous  cuticle  of  our  modern  "  dronedom." 

EDWIN  BJORKMAN. 


THE    FIRST   ACT 
PAPA'S   JEWELS 


PERSONS 

PAPA 

CHLOE 

DORIS 

MR.  RODERICK 

DICK 


PAPA 

THE  FIRST  ACT 

It  is  mid-morning  of  a  day  in  June.  In  an  upstairs 
sun-parlor-balcony  of  a  house  in  New  York,  Doris 
and  Chloe,  very  pretty  girls,  in  charming  white  morn 
ing  frocks,  are  lying  on  two  couches,  reading  the 
morning  papers  and  sipping  chocolate  from  the  table 
between  them,  on  which  is  a  large  tray  laden  with 
breakfast  things.  A  third  chair,  empty,  is  also  drawn 
up  to  the  table;  it  is  a  big  armchair  covered  with 
cretonne  and,  like  all  the  furniture  in  the  balcony, 
wrought  out  of  ivory  wicker.  Now  and  then  Chloe  and 
Doris  read  aloud  certain  thrilling  items  to  each  other; 
yet  their  light,  sweet  voices  are  unexcited.  One  might 
say  that  there  was  the  note  of  resignation  in  them. 

CHLOE 

The  Witchmeres  sailed  yesterday. 
DORIS 

Francis  Stillwell  is  with  the  Countess  of  Lawton  in 

Scotland  —  a  house  party. 
CHLOE 

Her   grace   is   coming   to   Newport !  .  .  .  Heavens ! 

Can't  you  just  see  Mrs.   Joe  when  "  my  daughter 

the  Duchess  "  arrives?     This  is  the  first  time  Lydia 

has  been  home. 


4  /.\    !  'I;  :     ;     -PAPA  [ACT  I 

DORIS 

She 's  asked  you  to  England  twice,  Chloe.  Why 
did  n't  you  take  her  up? 

CHLOE 

She  did  n't  really  want  me. 

DORIS 

What  difference  does  that  make?  But,  of  course, 
you  go  in  for  sincerity. 

CHLOE 

Wouldn't  it  be  heavenly  if  we  could  go  somewhere? 

DORIS 

Then  why,  under  heaven,  don't  you  marry  Dick? 

CHLOE 

You  know  the  reason  well.  I  love  Dick  too  much. 
.  .  .  But  you  pretend  that  you  are  so  heartless. 
Why  don't  you  marry  Mr.  Roderick? 

DORIS 

I  don't  even  like  him  well  enough.  .  .  .  Of  course 
I  'm  not  soft  like  you  —  and  looking  for  grand 
passions  —  and  getting  unreasonable  and  touchy 
when  I  think  I  've  got  one.  I  'd  be  content  with  any 
nice  man  if  I  really  liked  him.  But  see  here,  Chloe, 
you  're  three  years  older,  and  it  's  up  to  you  to 
marry  first.  I  will  not  go  to  live  in  a  house  with 
any  human  being  whom  I  don't  really  like.  (Pauses, 
and  then  continues)  I  'd  be  utterly  miserable  if  I 
could  n't  like  my  husband  as  well  —  as  —  as  —  my 
butler,  for  instance. 

CHLOE 

There  's  nothing  against  Mr.  Roderick. 

DORIS 

No  —  no.  But  he  is  n't  very  convincing,  and  he 
has  n't  any  magnetism.  Is  he  so  good?  So  kind  — 


ACT  i]  PAPA  5 

really?  Or  does  he  only  follow  the  line  of  least 
resistance?  He  looks  as  weak  as  a  Bronx  cocktail 
—  and  any  sort  of  weakness  gets  on  my  nerves. 
He  '11  have  to  come  across  with  something  more 
noble  than  supporting  Grand  Opera  and  a  Home  for 
Fallen  Ladies  before  I  '11  take  him. 

CHLOE 

Papa  likes  him  so  well  —  poor  Papa ! 

DORIS 

It  is  very  unkind  of  you  to  reproach  me  with  Papa, 
Chloe. 

[Papa  enters  —  a  dainty  gallant,  fragile  and  ex 
quisite  at  the  age  of  sixty-five.  He  is  no  less 
exquisitely  dressed.  His  manners  rival  in  grace  and 
correctness  those  of  a  dancing  master. 

PAPA 

Good  morning,  daughters. 

[Both  rise  and  flutter  to  him.     It  is  plain  that  they 

idolize  him,  and  that  he  is  devoted  to  them. 

DORIS  AND  CHLOE  (together) 

Good  morning,  darling !     Good  morning,  dearest ! 
[They  kiss  him  and  he  kisses  them.     They  bring  him 
to  the  empty  chair  at  the  table. 

DORIS 

Here  is  chocolate,  dear. 

CHLOE 

You  'd  rather  have  tea,  darling,  I  know. 

DORIS 

Put  the  toast  in  the  toaster,  Chloe.  Is  the  marma 
lade  there? 

CHLOE 

Here  's  your  orange  juice,  first,  dear. 


6  PAPA  [ACT  i 

DORIS 

Chocolate  is  more  nourishing  than  tea,  dear. 
CHLOE 

But  you  do  want  tea,  don't  you,  dear? 
PAPA 

Yes,  darling,  tea.  .  .  .  I  'm  too  old  to  change.  .  .  . 

I  'in  too  old  now  for  — 

[Both  stop  him  with  little  cries. 
CHLOE 

Old !     You  're  fishing,  dear !     You  don't  look  forty ! 
DORIS 

Not  thirty-five !     A  man  is  only  as  old  as  he  feels  — 

and  you  feel  as  young  as  we  do. 
CHLOE 

See  how  fresh  and  well  you  look  this  morning,  dear. 

[She  hands  him  a  delicate  little  mirror  which  she 

wears  on  a  chain  about  her  neck. 
PAPA  (examining  himself) 

Ah,  I  '11  never  get  used  to  these  gray  hairs,  my  dears. 
DORIS 

And  we  caused  them,  mostly.    You  're  quite  a  young 

man,  dear.     You  must  have  them  touched  up  again. 
CHLOE 

I  got   some  rouge  for  you  yesterday,  darling.      It 

stays  on  —  and  simply  can't  be  told. 
PAPA  (the  languor  goes  out  of  his  voice;    he  is  inter 
ested)     Liquid  or  dry? 
CHLOE 

Liquid ;     it   is    called   "  Pomegranate    Glow."      It 's 

wonderful. 
PAPA 

Have  Marston  bring  it  to  my  room  before  I  dress 

for  the  afternoon. 


ACT  i]  PAPA  7 

CHLOE 

Here  's  the  tea,  dear  —  with  four  lumps  and  oceans 

of  cream. 
DORIS 

And   the   toast   and   the   marmalade  —  on   this   nice 

little  plate. 
CHLOE 

Did  you  sleep  well,  dear? 
PAPA 

Thank    you,    darling,    no.  ...  I    never    sleep    any 

more. 
CHLOE  AND  DORIS  (together) 

Oh,  poor  papa! 

[The    telephone    rings.     Chloe    takes    it    from    the 

lower  part  of  the  table  and  answers. 
CHLOE 

Hello!     This  is  his  residence.     He  is  just  awake  and 

having    his    breakfast.     Can    I    take    the    message? 

Wait  a  minute.     (To  Papa)     It's  Mr.  Deering. 
PAPA 

Give  it  to  me.    I  '11  talk  to  him,  darling.     (She  hands 

the  telephone  to  him;   his  manner  changes  to  hauteur) 

Yes,  Deering.     Put  them  off.     To-day?     I '11  make 

some  arrangements.      I  'm  at  breakfast  now.      Call 

me  in  an  hour.     (Puts  the  telephone  down;    stares 

blankly  ahead  in  silence) 
CHLOE 

What  is  it?    Any  worries? 

PAPA 

Deering  is  a  nuisance.  He  's  —  he  's  not  diplomatic. 
Somebody  wants  to  be  paid  for  something  —  and 
I  've  got  to  get  fifty  thousand  dollars  together  at 
once.  He  says  it  can't  be  put  off  any  longer.  I 


8  PAPA  [ACT  i 

might  be  indicted  —  or  something.   .  .  .  Why,  this 

is  humiliating!     Humiliating! 
DORIS  (with  an  inspiration) 

Why  don't  you  use  — 
CHLOE 

Our  money? 
PAPA 

I  've  used  Chloe's.     I  can't  touch  Doris'  until  she  's 

twenty-one.     It  is  in  trust  until  then. 
DORIS 

How  disagreeable !     How  unkind  of  grandfather  to 

fix    mama's    money    like    that.     Never    mind  —  you 

shall  have  it  in  a  year,  darling. 

PAPA 

I  won't  live  a  year  if  this  keeps  up.  ( Wipes  his 
eyes)  I  'm  being  persecuted.  I  can't  stand  un 
pleasantness. 

DORIS  AND  CHLOE  (impressively  to  each  other,  as  with 
one  thought)    WE  MUST  GET  MARRIED  ! 
[Having  spoken  at  the  same  time  both  hold  up  little 
fingers  and  formally  join  them  in  the  rites  of  wishing. 

DORIS 

Shakespeare. 

CHLOE 
Milton. 

DORIS 
Pins. 

CHLOE 

Needles. 

[The  rites  have  been  performed.     Their  hands  fall 
apart. 
DORIS 
Now! 


ACT  i]  PAPA  9 

CHLOE 

If  my  wish  comes  true  — 
PAPA  (hopefully) 

Oh,  my  darling  daughters !     I  'm  a  great  trouble  to 

you ! 
CHLOE 

Nonsense  — 
DORIS 

You  're  the  dearest,  wisest  — 
CHLOE 

Best,  sweetest  — 
DORIS 

Noblest  — 

CHLOE 

Most  wonderful  — 
DORIS 

Man  in  the  whole  world. 
CHLOE 

You  really  are,  Papa!     And  it  is  our  duty  to  get 

married    right    off.     That    would    help    the    debts, 

would  n't  it? 
PAPA 

With  either  Mr.  Roderick  or  Dick  as  a  son-in-law,  I 

could  manage  very  well.     With  a  little  tact  I  could 

borrow  anything  from  anybody  then. 
DORIS  (energetically) 

We  '11  have  to  draw  straws,  Chloe,  to  see  which  one 

marries. 

PAPA 

My  noble  girls ! 

suddenly  begins  to  weep. 


10  PAPA  [ACT  i 

PAPA  (to  Chloe) 

Dear,  darling,  child !  I  know  what  is  in  your  mind  — 
but  for  my  sake  you  must  not  think  of  it. 

CHLOE 

My  poor  baby! 

DORIS 

You  must  have  been  a  ninny  —  a  sentimental  ninny 
—  and  I  think  your  baby  is  a  good  deal  better  off 
without  you. 

PAPA 

The  child  receives  the  best  of  attention,  and  the  gov 
erness  speaks  excellent  French  —  I  have  seen  to  that. 
But  my  lovely  Chloe  is  too  good,  too  saintly,  too 
tender-hearted.  She  loves  her  child. 

CHLOE 

It  is  n't  that.  I  love  Dick  —  and  I  must  deceive 
him  if  I  marry  him,  and  that  means  that  I  shall  never 
get  my  baby  back  again.  I  'm  wronging  the  man  I 
love  —  and  my  own  child !  Oh,  why  was  I  ever 
born?  Oh,  why  did  I  go  with  that  hateful  man  to 
supper  —  alone? 

PAPA 

There  —  there  —  my  darling !  It  was  only  your 
lovely  innocence  that  led  you  astray.  It  was  only 
an  indiscretion. 

CHLOE 

But  I  ought  not  to  have  gone  to  his  rooms  unchaper- 
oned.  I  knew  it  was  n't  exactly  —  conventional. 

DORIS 

That 's  what  I  say  —  'why  did  you  do  it? 

CHLOE 

He  was  so  fascinating! 


ACT    l]  PAPA  11 

PAPA 

And  a  very  great  tenor ! 

CHLOE 

And  I  thought  I  loved  him ! 

DORIS 

Well,  after  you  saw  what  was  going  to  happen,  why 
didn't  you  marry  him.  It  is  always  done,  isn't  it? 

PAPA 

My  daughter  marry  an  opera-singer!  I  should  not 
have  allowed  it. 

CHLOE 

Yes  —  I  couldn't  marry  him,  could  I?  Besides  he 
had  an  obscure  wife  somewhere  in  Italy. 

DORIS 

Well,  I  'm  sorry  for  you.  But  since  it  was  n't  my 
fault,  you  've  got  to  be  a  sport  and  draw  straws 
with  me  —  or  we  '11  toss  a  coin.  Got  one,  dear? 

PAPA  (searching) 

Ah  —  er  —  yes  !     It 's  only  a  penny,  darling  — 

DORIS 

Don't  apologize.     It  '11  do  quite  well. 

CHLOE  (with  her  head  resting  on  her  hands,  staring  into 
space)  My  little  Dolores  will  be  four  years  old  next 
Thursday ! 

DORIS 

Come  —  come  —  don't  moon.  Heads,  me ;  tails, 
you.  (To  Papa)  Flip  it,  dear.  Once. 

PAPA  (enjoying  this  part  of  it  and  rising  for  the  cere 
mony)  I  hope  that  my  .darling  daughters  know  how 
to  either  win  or  lose  with  perfect  grace.  Ready? 
[He  flips  the  coin.  All  watch  it.  Doris  draws  a 
long  breath  of  relief.  Chloe  and  Papa  fall  into  each 
other's  arms. 


12  PAPA  [ACT  i 

PAPA 

My  saintly  Chloe! 

DORIS 

I  'm  sorry,  Chloe  —  but  come,  buck  up !  We  '11  put 
it  over,  some  way  or  other. 

CHLOE 

He  must  never  know!  Dick  is  so  spoiled,  and  so 
conventional  about  all  the  little  things.  He  'd  never 
forgive  me.  He  —  he  hates  music  anyway ! 

PAPA 

He  won't  know,  my  darling.  Nobody  knows.  They 
think  —  down  there  —  that  it  is  your  little  half- 
sister.  (Papa  blushes  as  he  speaks) 

CHLOE 

That's  just  like  you!     To  sacrifice  your  reputation 
for  me!  ...  I  can  do  no  less  than  sacrifice  every 
thing  for  you. 
[A  bell  is  heard. 

DORIS 

Mr.  Roderick !     I  forgot !     He  said  he  'd  be  here  at 

eleven.    You  're  a  sight,  Chloe !    Run  on  up  and  weep 

it  all  out  now  before  you  see  Dick.     You  'd  better 

send  him  around  a  note. 
CHLOE 

No,  I  '11  telephone. 
DORIS 

Say  Papa  objects,  and  you  must  elope.     Papa  needs 

the  money  to-day  —  remember. 
CHLOE  (desperately) 

What  do  I  care  what  else  I  say  to  him? 
DORIS 

Go  on ;    don't  feel  such  a  martyr.     You  '11  have  all 


ACT  i]  PAPA  13 

that  money  —  and  some  more  babies  if  you  really 
want  them  —  and  then  you  can  start  things  and  put 
it  over  Mrs.  Joe  and  all  the  rest  of  them.  It  won't 
be  bad. 

CHLOE 

I  am  going  to  do  what  is  best  for  Papa's  sake  alone. 

PAPA 

My  love !    Be  brave ! 

[They  embrace.  Chloe  goes  out  tearfully.  Papa 
and  Doris  stand  touched  and  genuinely  moved  — 
looking  at  each  other  for  a  long  second  in  silence. 
Chloe  suddenly  reappears,  a  more  cheerful  note  in 
her  voice. 

CHLOE 

Doris,  would  you  wear  that  new  green  frock  and  the 
gray  motor  coat?    Or  that  white  serge  with  my  little 
blue  hat  —  and  a  dark  blue  coat  ?    It  would  be  rather 
smart  for  an  elopement,  don't  you  think? 
[The  family  spirits  rise. 

DORIS 

Oh,  the  white  and  blue !  You  can  stand  those  simple, 
severe  things. 

CHLOE 

Dick  likes  it,  too. 

PAPA 

My  daughter  must  have  a  bouquet !     Just  a  casual 
little  bouquet  of  pure  white  lilies.     I  '11  go  for  them 
myself!     Ah,  if  we  could  only  have  a  real  wedding! 
I  love  weddings ! 
CHLOF 

Thanks,  darling,  but  Dick  will  be  here  the  minute 


14 PAPA [ACT  i 

after  I  call  him,  so  we  must  hurry.     (She  runs  out, 
quite  pleased  with  herself) 
DORIS  (embracing  Papa  joyously) 

Oh  Papa !  Papa  darling !  I  don't  have  to  marry  old 
Mr.  Roderick,  do  I?  Oh,  I'm  so  happy,  dear!  I 
don't  want  to  marry  anyone  yet! 
[Mr.  Roderick  appears  in  the  doorway.  He  wears  a 
golden  Van  Dyke  beard  and  an  air  of  great  patience. 
He  is  dressed  with  wonderful  precision  and,  is  accom 
panied  by  a  spic-and-span  white  English  Bull.  Mr. 
Roderick  is  quite  as  fine  a  gentleman  in  his  way  as 
the  English  Bull  in  his.  There  is,  in  fact,  a  delicate 
resemblance  between  them. 

MR.   RODERICK 

May  I  come  in? 

DORIS 

Oh,  good  morning,  Mr.  Roderick.     (She  pays  great 
attention  to  the  dog  while  Papa  and  Mr.  Roderick 
address  one  another)     Shake  hands,  Tommy. 
[The  dog  gives  her  a  paw. 

PAPA 

Good  morning,  good  morning.     Come  right  in. 

MR.  RODERICK 

Your  man  put  me  in  the  library  and  went  to  find 
Miss  Doris.     But  I  thought  I  heard  voices  and  came 
to  hunt  her  myself. 
PAPA 

Quite  right.  The  girls  and  I  have  our  breakfast 
out  here  these  hot  mornings.  But  if  you  '11  excuse 
me,  I  must  leave  you  for  a  few  minutes  —  I  've  an 
errand  at  the  florist's.  I  want  flowers  sent  to  the 
funeral  of  a  poor,  dear,  old  lady  I  used  to  know, 
and  I  wish  to  select  them  myself. 


ACT  i]  PAPA  15 

MR.   RODERICK 

Quite  thoughtful  of  you.  My  car  is  at  the  door. 
Let  my  man  take  you. 

PAPA 

Thank  you.  I  will.  (He  notices  the  dog  and  pats 
him  on  the  head)  Ah,  Tommy !  He  's  a  very  hand 
some  animal,  Mr.  Roderick. 

MR.  RODERICK  (beaming  'with  pleasure) 

Say  "  Thank  you,"  Tommy.     Shake  hands. 

[The  dog  is  put  through  his  paces  and  gives  his  paw 

to  Papa,  who  then  turns  to  Mr.  Roderick. 

PAPA 

We  'd  like  to  keep  you  for  luncheon,  Mr.  Roderick. 
We  might  have  some  bridge. 

MR.  RODERICK 

Thank  you.  Perhaps. 
PAPA  (kisses  Doris9  hand) 

Au  revoir,  my  darling. 
DORIS 

Au  revoir,  dear. 

[Papa  leaves  the  room  with  rare  grace. 

MR.  RODERICK 

What  wonderful   charm  your   father  has!     It  is   a 
pleasure  to  see  him  with  his  daughters. 
DORIS 

He  is  the  noblest  man  in  the  world! 

MR.  RODERICK 

And  you  are  a  noble  daughter.   .  .   .  Come,  are  you 
going  to  keep  me  waiting.  .  .  .  You  were  to  tell  me 
something  to-day. 
DORIS 

Just  —  what? 


16  PAPA  [ACT  i 

MR.  RODERICK 

Have  you  —  forgotten? 
DORIS 
Oh  — 

MR.  RODERICK 

Do  you  —  will  you  —  can't  you  ? 

DORIS 

Dear  Mr.  Roderick,  I  wish  I  could.  But  I  don't 
know  you  well  enough.  You  don't  know  me  well 
enough.  I  'm  afraid  I  must  tell  you  —  no. 

MR.  RODERICK 

Give  me  some  hope.     In  time,  perhaps  .   .  .  and  I 
know    your    dear    transparent    nature    perfectly  — 
perfectly. 
DORIS 

Not  now  —  or  any  time.  I  'm  afraid  I  must  n't  let 
you  get  a  false  impression.  No,  it  can  never  be. 

MR.  RODERICK 

Why  not?     Give  me  a  reason. 
DORIS  (with  a  gleam  of  amusement  in  her  eyes  as  she 

turns  slightly  from  him)     I  am  too  kind  to  give  you 

the  real  reason. 
MR.  RODERICK  (interested) 

I  will  take  it  without  flinching  —  and  be  grateful ! 
DORIS   (toying  with  the  situation) 

No  matter  how  I  might  hurt  you  —  or  disappoint 

you? 

MR.  RODERICK 

No  matter.  Give  me  a  single  reason  for  your  refusal, 
and  if  it  is  valid  —  or  if  it  explains  my  failure  —  I 
shall  persist  no  further  in  forcing  my  love  upon  you. 
But  I  shall  remain  until  the  end  —  at  your  service 
—  ready  at  all  times  to  make  any  sacrifice  for  your 


ACT  i]  PAPA  17 

pleasure  or  comfort,  to  be  a  loyal  friend  to  you  and 
your  dear  ones,  to  feel  a  request  from  you  an  in 
comparable  honor ! 

DORIS  (her  eyes  growing  big  with  pleasure) 
How  simply  beautiful  of  you! 

MR.  RODERICK 

Then  do  not  hesitate.    Tell  me  your  real  reason. 
[Doris  looks  away  lost  and  confused,  as  if  searching 
for  a  reason  worthy  of  his  attitude.     Suddenly  an 
inspiration  comes  into  her  eyes.     She  is  overjoyed 
and  begins  to  act  her  part  with  zest. 
DORIS 

You  may  loathe  and  despise  me,  but  at  least  I  shall 
do  as  you  ask.     What  I  am  about  to  tell  you  will 
put  your  promise  to  a  severe  test. 
[Mr.  Roderick  plays  up  to  her.    He  rises,  facing  her, 
and  they  do  their  scene  in  a  fine  heroic  style. 

MR.  RODERICK 

Go  on. 

DORIS 

I  am  not  exactly  what  I  seem  to  you  —  a  young 
girl  —  innocent  and  lovely  —  (She  falters) 

MR.  RODERICK 

Go  on. 

DORIS 

I  have  had  my  irresponsible  and  mad  moments  — 
moments  that  break  and  destroy  —  though  they  are 
so  brief  —  and  so  careless —  (She  falters  again) 

MR.  RODERICK 

Go  on. 

DORIS 

I  —  I  —  have  had  no  mother  —  since  I  was  —  a 
very  little  child. 


18  PAPA  [ACT  i 

MR.  RODERICK  (gently) 

I  know  —  go  on. 
DORIS 

I  was  innocent  and  foolish  — 

MR.  RODERICK 

Go  on. 

DORIS 

In  fact  it  was  my  very  innocence  that  led  me  astray. 

MR.    RODERICK 

Go  on  — 

DORIS  , 

But  you  must  not  judge  too  gently.    I  know  that  to 
go  to  his  rooms,  alone,  to  supper  —  was  not  exactly 

—  conventional. 

MR.  RODERICK 

Go  on  — 

DORIS 

But  I  went  — 

MR.    RODERICK 

Go  on  — 

DORIS 

I  can't  —  I  —  I  —  I  thought  I  loved  him —     (She 
falters) 
MR.  RODERICK  (worried  and  hesitant) 

Well,  why  did  n't  you  —  if  he  got  you  compromised 

—  or  talked  about  —  why  —  why  did  n't  he  marry 
you? 

DORIS 

He  —  he   had   an    obscure   wife    in   Spain  —  no,    in 
Italy. 

MR.    RODERICK 

Am  I  to  understand?     Great  God!     Who  was  this 
man? 


ACT  i]  PAPA  19 

DORIS 

A  very  great  tenor.  All  the  girls  were  wild  about 
him.  Besides,  Papa  would  not  have  permitted  me  to 
marry  an  opera  singer.  We  have  been  so  carefully 
brought  up. 

MR.    RODERICK 

But—    Great  God!    And  he  — he?    Goon. 
DORIS  (dropping  her  face  into  her  hands,  and  staring 

into  space)    My  little  Dolores  will  be  four  years  old 

next  Thursday. 
MR.  RODERICK  (tramps  up  and  down) 

So?    Can  this  thing  be?    A  child!    Dolores!     Four! 

How  old  are  you?     (He  stops  facing  her) 
DORIS 

Twenty. 
MR.  RODERICK  (heroically) 

Great   God !      This    is    infamous !      Your    father  — 

knew  ? 

DORIS 

Oh  yes  !  He  was  so  splendid !  They  think  it  his  — 
the  people  who  have  it.  He  means  to  keep  me  with 
him,  always  —  I  've  suffered  so  much.  But  I 
could  n't  deceive  you  —  I  shall  never  marry. 

MR.    RODERICK 

But  my  dear,  darling,  wounded  girl !  I  've  only  pity 
for  you!  Can't  you  understand  that?  I  love  you 
as  much  —  no,  more  than  ever !  Come,  rest  your 
head  on  my  shoulder.  Of  course  I  '11  marry  you ! 
Noble  Doris ! 

[Doris  comes  to  the  earth  at  this  —  gasps  -for  breath 
—  falls  head  over  Jieels  in  love  on  the  instant  —  and 
into  his  arms  with  a  queer  uncertain  little  sound. 


20  PAPA  [ACT  i 

DORIS 

Oh—    Urn! 

[She  cannot  manage  to  say  a  word.  He  embraces 
her  and  talks  as  if  to  a  child,  with  indignant  tender 
ness.  She  is  entirely  subdued. 

MR.    RODERICK 

And  you  shall  have  jour  little  Dolores  back.     Of 
course,  you  want  her.     We  shall  adopt  her  legally. 
It  can  be  done  quite  simply. 
[Doris  fidgets. 

MR.    RODERICK 

You  shall  never  be  annoyed  or  mistreated  or  humili 
ated  or  hurt  again.  You  shall  have  beautiful  houses 
to  live  in  —  wherever  you  want  them  —  and  beauti 
ful  jewels  —  and  gowns  —  and  your  dear  father 
shall  come  to  live  with  us  —  and  your  sister  too  — 
my  darling  angel !  .  .  .  Could  n't  you  marry  me 
to-day,  right  now? 

[Dick  appears  at  the  door.     He  is  handsome,  young, 
healthy  —  in  motor  things  of  superlative  fastidious 
ness. 
DICK 

Hello!     Where's  Chloe? 

[Mr.  Roderick  and  Doris  fall  apart. 

MR.    RODERICK 

Ah,  come  right  in,  Dick  — 
[There  is  a  secret  in  the  air.    Dick  senses  it. 
DICK 

I  say,  what 's  going  on? 

MR.    RODERICK 

We  '11  take  you  into  our  confidence.  Doris  has 
promised  to  marry  me,  and  we  're  going  —  going  — 


ACT  i]  PAPA  21 

across  the  river.  It  is  hard  on  her  dear  father 
—  but  he  'd  never  let  me  have  her  if  I  did  n't  steal 
her  —  and  all 's  fair  in  love,  you  know.  We  '11 
make  it  up  to  him  afterwards. 

DICK 

I  say  —  this  is  bully !    This  is  fine ! 

DORIS 

What?     Why? 

DICK 

Why,  Chloe  has  said  "  yes,"  at  last.  .  .  .  We  're 
eloping ! 

[Dick  and  Mr.  Roderick  seize  each  other's  hands 
and  shake  in  congratulation  and  joy. 

MR.   RODERICK 

Fine!     It's   a  foursome.  .  .  .     But —     (Vaguely) 
Are  n't    there    licenses  —  and    rings  —  and    things  ? 
Doris'  father  has  my  machine. 
DICK 

I  've  a  touring  car  at  the  door.  I  'm  onto  all  the 
ropes.  It  will  take  Doris  fifteen  minutes  to  put  on  a 
hat,  I  suppose,  so  we  might  run  down  the  avenue  for 
a  couple  of  rings. 

MR.  RODERICK  (embracing  Doris) 

We  won't  be  gone  a  minute,  darling.    Be  ready  when 

we  come  back,  will  you? 
DORIS  (a  propos  of  nothing) 

Poor  Papa! 

[All  are  silent. 

MR.    RODERICK 

I  do  feel  as  if  we  were  treating  him  rather  shabbily. 
(He  pauses) 


22 PAPA [ACT  i 

DICK 

I  've  got  it.  Write  a  note  saying  we  're  all  getting 
married  and  leaving  for  Europe  this  evening.  Ask 
him  to  forgive  us  and  come  along. 

MR.    RODERICK 

Of  course !     The  very  thing ! 
DORIS  (to  Mr.  Roderick) 
You  want  him? 

MR.    RODERICK 

Of  course. 
DORIS  (she  begins  to  get  her  bearings  again) 

Oh,  you're  the  noblest  man  in  the  world  —  except 

Papa! 

[Mr.  Roderick  embraces  her. 
DICK 

Now  we  're  running  along.     Write  that  note  —  and 

have  Chloe  ready  when  we  get  back. 
DORIS 

Yes,  yes,  yes. 

[She  sits  at  a  little  desk  at  one  side  of  the  room; 

Mr.  Roderick  kisses  her  good-bye,  and  dilly-dallys 

over  her  chair. 
DORIS  (to  Mr.  Roderick) 

You  won't  ever  be  sorry?     I  may  be  much  worse 

than  you  think  me. 
MR.  RODERICK  (in  a  low,  intimate  voice) 

Nonsense.     Your  soul  is  perfectly  clear  to  me.      I 

love  you  all  the  more  for  having  suffered.  I  under 
stand  perfectly. 

[Doris  fidgets. 
DICK 

Come  on,  come  on ! 


ACT  i]  PAPA  23 

DORIS  (sending  Mr.  Roderick  away) 

Go  — 

[Mr.    Roderick    and    Dick    start    to    leave;    Doris 

writes;    all  three  murmur  at  the  same  time. 
DORIS  (writing) 

Dear  darling  angel  Papa  — 
DICK 

The  best  place  in  ...   shortest  way  — 

MR.    RODERICK 

.  .  .  Extra  tires  .  .  .  such  lovely  girls  .  .  .  Tom 
my,  Tommy.  .  .  . 

[They  go  out,  followed  by  the  English  Bull.  Doris 
writes  for  a  moment.  Chloe  enters  looking  very 
fetching.  She  carries  her  dark  coat. 

CHLOE 

I  saw  Dick  leave  with  Mr.  Roderick  —  why? 
[Doris  writes   on,  folds  up  her  note  and  kisses  it 
violently  before  she  answers. 

CHLOE  (repeats  her  question) 
Why,  Doris? 

DORIS 

There!     (Bounces  up)     Oh  Chloe!     I'm  in  love  — 
really  in  love  —  with  Mr.  Roderick  !     He  is  n't  weak 
—  and  he  is  good  and  he  has  magnetism  —  and  I 
not  only  like  him !    I  love  him ! 
CHLOE 

But  Dick? 

DORIS 

They  *ve  gone  for  the  rings  — 

[Papa  enters  with  two  bouquets,  one  of  yellow  roses, 

and  one  of  pink  roses. 


24 PAPA [ACT  i 

PAPA 

Dick  hasn't  come,  has  he?  I'm  in  time!  (He 
kisses  each  daughter  and  presents  the  bouquets 
elegantly)  I  could  n't  bring  white  flowers  —  they 
remind  me  of  funerals.  But  here  are  yellow  roses 
for  the  bride  —  for  I  'm  jealous  already;  and  pink 
roses  for  my  Doris  —  who  is  rosier  than  any  rose. 

DORIS  AND  CHLOE  (charmed) 
Oh,  thank  you,  Papa,  dear! 
[Both  kiss  him. 

DORIS 

But  here  's  news  for  you  —  news !  (  Waves  the  letter 
she  has  just  written)  You  must  n't  read  it  yet. 
It 's  a  secret.  Promise  not  to  read  it  until  you 
ought. 

PAPA 

I  promise  —  on  my  honor ! 

DORIS 

Then  I  shall  tell  you  what  is  in  it.  I  'm  in  love 
with  Mr.  Roderick.  He  's  really  a  very  fine,  noble 
man,  dear  —  next  to  you. 

CHLOE 

For  heaven's  sake  get  to  the  point,  Doris ! 

DORIS 

Well,  it  all  came  about  so  beautifully  that  I  've 
promised  to  marry  him.  He  's  gone  for  a  ring,  and 
we  're  eloping !  I  could  n't  say  a  word.  .  .  .  You  've 
no  idea  how  real  love  puts  you  in  your  place. 

CHLOE 

You !  But  I  'm  eloping.  Dick  said  he  'd  be  right 
over. 

DORIS 

We  're   all  eloping.      Mr.   Roderick   told   Dick,   and 


ACT  i]  PAPA  25 

they  shook  hands  and  went  for  two  rings  while  I 
was  writing  this  note  to  you,  Papa,  and  getting  a 
hat  on.  They  think  they  're  treating  you  badly,  the 
silly  dears.  And  this  is  to  ask  you  to  forgive  us 
all  and  to  sail  with  us  for  Europe  to-night.  Does 
that  fix  your  debts,  dear? 

PAPA 

Perfectly !  My  darlings  !  My  treasures  !  You  have 
saved  my  life  and  my  honor ! 

DORIS 

And  oh,  Papa;  you  must  be  very  angry,  and  pre 
tend  to  be  quite  put  out! 

PAPA 

I  could  n't  embarrass  my  daughters !  I  shall  not 
relent  until  Chloe  has  wept.  I  hope  we  go  to  Paris 
first!  Let  us  linger  in  Paris,  my  treasures.  I  love 
Paris.  The  shops !  The  ladies ! 

DORIS 

Don't  be  naughty,  Papa. 

CHLOE  (who  has  been  thinking) 

Then  there 's  no  longer  any  driving  need  of  my 
marrying  Dick. 

DORIS 

Now  don't  get  that  into  your  head !  You  know  per 
fectly  well,  Chloe,  that  you  lost  when  we  flipped  a 
coin.  My  marriage  is  only  a  happy  incident. 

CHLOE 

But  I  'd  be  happier  if  Dick  knew.  I  'd  be  happier 
even  if  I  lost  him,  and  he  might  forgive  me  —  and 
let  me  have  my  little  Dolores  back  some  time. 

DORIS 

For  heaven's  sake!  Don't  do  that,  Chloe!  You 
must  n't !  You  really  must  n't ! 


26  PAPA  [ACT  i 

CHLOE 

Why  not?  I  can  afford  to  risk  it,  now  that  Papa 
will  be  saved  anyway.  You  don't  know  what  it  is  to 
deceive  the  man  you  love.  You  have  nothing  to  hide. 

DORIS 

Oh !  Oh !  But  I  do.  /  'm  deceiving  Mr.  Roderick 
too  —  but  I  'm  putting  it  over. 

PAPA 

Men  are  only  too  happy  to  be  deceived  by  lovely 
ladies.  It  is  an  honor  and  a  privilege. 

DORIS 

But  I  'm  deceiving  him  —  awfully.  .  .  .  He  asked 
for  a  reason  ...  I  was  too  nice  to  say  that  I  did  n't 
seem  able  to  enthuse  about  him  ...  I  wanted  a 
good  reason  ...  so  I  said  it  was  Dolores  .  .  .  and 
he  forgave  me  so  nobly  that  I  loved  him  at  once! 

CHLOE 

How  perfectly  unscrupulous  of  you!  That  is  sheer 
plagiarism,  Doris !  You  've  plagiarized  my  romance 
.  .  .  and  my  child! 

DORIS 

But  I  don't  care  about  your  romance!  Thank 
heavens,  I  don't  have  to  have  that  crazy  Italian 
tenor  on  my  conscience,  and  it 's  humiliating  enough 
to  have  Mr.  Roderick  ever  think  I  was  such  a  fool. 
But  he  'd  never  forgive  me  now,  if  he  found  out  that 
I  was  n't,  and  had  n't  suffered,  and  all  that  —  and 
you  're  distinctly  selfish  to  make  a  fuss  about  it. 

CHLOE 

But  my  little  Dolores! 

DORIS 

I  don't  want  your  little  Dolores.  ...  I  just  put  her 
in  accidentally,  and  now  Mr.  Roderick  insists  upon 


ACT  i]  PAPA  27 

adopting  her  —  so  you  've  got  to  be  a  sport  and  lend 
her  to  me. 

PAPA  (to  Chloe,  who  bursts  into  tears) 

Dolores  will  be  all  in  the  family,  dearest.  Now  don't 
cry !  You  're  too  tender-hearted.  But  you  can  have 
her  visit  you  every  day.  Indeed,  Fate  has  arranged 
things  very  wisely,  my  darling.  I  daresay  that 
you  '11  see  more  of  your  child  than  most  of  our 
friends  see  of  theirs. 

DORIS 

And  anyway,  Dick  absolutely  would  not  stand  for 
her  —  or  for  you,  either  —  if  you  told.  Then  Mr. 
Roderick  will  be  simply  an  ideal  father  —  much 
better  than  Dick. 

PAPA 

Doris  is  right.  For  my  sake  let  us  all  be  happy. 
The  whole  matter  seems  to  be  most  satisfactorily 
arranged. 

CHLOE 

For  your  sake,  darling  papa. 

PAPA 

Now  I  shall  be  able  to  really  enjoy  my  grandchild. 
After  all,  Dolores  is  my  grandchild,  either  way. 
[All  smile  brightly. 

CHLOE  AND  DORIS  (as  if  realizing  this  for  the  first  time) 
Why,  of  course !  That 's  true ! 

DORIS 

Though  it  seems  quite  wicked  to  think  of  you  as  a 
grandfather,  dear. 

PAPA  (he  closes  the  argument  and  turns  to  a  safer  sub 
ject  of  conversation)  Thank  you,  darling.  And 
they  '11  be  here  soon,  did  you  say,  dear? 


28  PAPA  [ACT  i 

DORIS 

Yes,  any  time.     I  must  get  ready  this  instant.     Oh, 
Papa,  he  is  so  noble,  and  I  'm  deceiving  him  so  basely 
—  I  'm  not  worthy ! 
[She  falls  into  Papa's  arms.    Chloe  does  the  same. 

CHLOE 

Nor  I !     I  'm  deceiving  him. 

[Papa  holds  them  both  tenderly,  a  head  on  each  of 
his  shoulders.  Both  weep  —  Doris  almost  angrily, 
as  if  she  did  n't  know  how;  Chloe  more  copiously  and 
gracefully.  Papa's  voice  is  quite  weepy  too. 

PAPA 

There  —  there  —  don't  cry !    A  sense  of  honor  often 
makes  life  very  difficult,  my  angel. 
[A  bell  rings. 

DORIS  (pulling  herself  together  and  rising  energetically 
to  the  occasion)  There  they  are!  Give  me  the 
letter.  Marston  will  be  told  to  give  it  to  you.  .  .  . 
Oh  ...  he  is  wonderful,  Papa,  and  I  —  I  never 
thought  /  could  feel  —  like  this !  It  is  very  con 
fusing.  There  's  a  terrible  pain  right  here ;  yet  I  'm 
glad. 

[There  is  a  new  sincerity  and  softness  in  her  voice 
as  she  lays  her  hand  on  her  heart.  Chloe  and  Papa 
look  at  her  in  silence.  She  goes  out  loftily.  Papa 
and  Chloe  are  impressed  as  if  by  something  they 
cannot  fathom.  There  is  a  silent  pause.  Doris  ap 
pears  again  in  the  doorway  in  a  much  more  usual 
frame  of  mind. 

DORIS 

What  would  you  wear,  Chloe?  Don't  you  think  my 
white  wool  coat  and  my  big  white  hat  will  be  rather 
good?  I  won't  have  time  to  change  anyway.  I'll 


ACT  i]  PAPA  29 

wear  a  blue  veil,  and  Papa's  dear  pink  roses.     Quite 

French,  don't  you  think? 
CHLOE 

Yes,  you  can  do  those  fluffy  things. 
DORIS  (waving  her  hand) 

I  '11  be  down  in  a  second. 

[She  goes  out.     Papa  and  Chloe  are  sensible  of  a 

more  comfortable  atmosphere.     Papa  speaks  cheer- 

tully. 

PAPA 

Could  you  get  me  Mr.  Ingraham  on  the  telephone, 
dear?     I  must  arrange  for  my  loan  at  once. 
CHLOE 

Certainly,  dear.     It's  Broad  883,  isn't  it? 

[She  sits  down  at  the  table  and  lifts  up  the  telephone 

receiver.     Dick  appears  in  the  doorway. 

DICK 

May  I  come  in?     Hello,  Chloe!  (To  Papa)     Good 
morning,  how  are  you? 
PAPA 

Good  morning,  Dick;  good  morning.  (To  Chloe) 
Don't  bother  about  my  number,  dearest,  I  '11  call 
from  the  library.  May  we  keep  you  for  luncheon, 
Dick? 

DICK 

We  're  just  off  for  a  ride  —  if  Chloe  has  n't  changed 

her  mind. 
PAPA 

Perhaps  we  may  expect  you  back?     Luncheon  is  at 

two.     You  're  very  welcome. 
DICK 

Perhaps.  .  .   . 


30  PAPA  [ACT  i 

PAPA 

You  '11  pardon  me  just  a  minute?     (He  goes  out) 
DICK 

Your  father  's  a  charming  fellow,  Chloe. 
CHLOE 

He  's  the  noblest  man  in  the  world  —  and  you  're  — 
DICK 

I  'm  what? 
CHLOE 

Next. 
DICK  (half  reproachfully) 

So  you  've  decided  that  at  last? 
CHLOE 

I  've  thought  it  a  long  time. 
DICK  (takes  her  in  his  arms) 

And  my  Chloe  is  the  most  beautiful,  the  tenderest, 

sweetest,  most  spiritual,  most  sincere  woman  in  the 

world ! 

[He  kisses  her.    Mr.  Roderick  enters,  beaming. 

MR.    RODERICK 

Hello !     Where  's  Doris? 

CHLOE 

She'll  be  here  in  a  minute,  Mr.  Roderick.  (Gives 
him  her  hand) 

MR.    RODERICK 

So  we  're  all  ready  for  our  eventful  ride?  We  must 
wish  each  other  much  happiness.  (He  takes  Chloe's 
hand  and  holds  it  warmly) 

CHLOE 

Oh  —  oh,  we  do,  don't  we? 

PAPA  (enters) 

I  'm  trying  to  engage  Dick  to  come  back  with  Chloe 
for  luncheon,  Mr.  Roderick.  You  are  stopping? 


ACT  i]  PAPA  31 

MR.  RODERICK  (lying  with  difficulty) 

The  truth  is  —  we  —  your  other  daughter  and  I 
are  going  with  them. 

PAPA 

Don't  let  me  disarrange  your  plans.  I  shall  drop 
in  at  the  club.  I  'm  never  able  to  enjoy  my  luncheon 
if  I  'm  alone. 

DICK 

Why  don't  you  join  us  —  at  —  at  —  at  Sherry's, 
say  —  at  —  at  two  is  all  right,  is  n't  it? 

MR.  RODERICK  AND  CHLOE  (simultaneously) 
Oh  yes,  do  !     Do,  Papa ! 

PAPA 

I  am  delighted. 

[Doris  enters,  looking  charming  and  picturesque  in 

white,  with  the  blue  veil  and  pink  flowers. 

DORIS 

I  see  I  'm  keeping  everyone  waiting.     Ready? 

PAPA  (in  his  most  charming  manner) 

I  hope  that  the  ride  will  be  pleasant  —  that  the  sun 
will  not  be  too  hot  —  nor  the  roads  too  dusty  —  and 
that  your  motor  will  be  in  its  most  amiable  mood. 
[All,  rather  like  children,  get  ready  to  go,  and  speak 
at  once. 

MR.   RODERICK  AND  DICK 

Thank  you !    Thanks  ! 

DORIS  AND   CHLOE 

Good-bye,  dear!     Good-bye,  darling! 

MR.    RODERICK 

Sherry's  at  two ! 
DICK 

Don't  fail  us ! 

[Papa  holds  Chloe's  coat  and  kisses  first  Chloe,  then 


32  PAPA  [ACT  i 

Doris,  very  delicately;  then  lie  takes  a  hand  of  each 
in  each  of  his  hands. 

PAPA  (to  Mr.  Roderick  and  Dick) 

Sherry's  at  two.  (He  kisses  his  daughters9  hands  in 
turn,  bowing  over  them)  Au  'voir,  my  dears ! 
[All  go  out.  Each  of  the  four  a  little  shyly,  as  if 
occupied  with  some  weight  of  guilt  —  not,  however,  a 
wholly  uncomfortable  weight.  Papa  alone  is  bland 
and  blithe  and  unself  conscious,  as  if  unaware  that 
things  of  importance  are  happening.  He  stands 
smiling  near  a  window,  waving  his  hand  as  he  sees 
them  leave.  Then  he  goes  to  the  telephone,  suddenly 
becoming  tense  and  nervous.  Once  his  conversation 
begins,  though,  he  gets  involved  in  the  emotions  he 
pretends. 

PAPA 

Broad  883.  —  Hello ;  Mr.  Ingraham.  .  .  .  Yes,  yes, 
I  called  a  minute  ago.  .  .  .  Ingraham?  Yes,  I  just 
called  again  about  that  loan.  Let  it  go,  Ingraham. 
I  won't  have  time  to  call  in  my  securities  and  take 
the  matter  up  to-day.  .  .  .  It  is  very  inconvenient, 
but  I  '11  have  to  cable  later.  .  .  .  Yes,  I  'm  leaving 
to-night;  yes,  quite  suddenly — in  a  great  rush. 
.  .  .  Well,  yes ;  it  is  something  rather  serious.  .  .  . 
My  daughters  —  I  've  loved  them  and  tried  to  be  a 
good  father,  Ingraham.  .  .  .  Thank  you  .  .  .  they 
—  they  've  both  eloped.  .  .  .  Eloped,  without  a 
word  to  me,  both  of  them.  .  .  .  And  you  know  my 
dislike  of  sensationalism.  .  .  .  Yes,  Dick.  ...  Oh 
yes,  a  good  marriage,  as  far  as  money  goes  .  .  . 
and  my  little  Doris,  .  .  .  yes,  Mr.  Roderick.  .  .  . 
Well,  I  suppose  so,  but  I  wanted  my  daughters  to 
stay  with  me  awhile.  .  .  .  Yes,  I  'm  sailing  with  them 


ACT  i]  PAPA  33 

this  evening.  .  .  .  That  is  why  I  have  to  let  my  own 
business  go.  .  .  .  They  left  a  note.  ...  Of  course, 
I  shall  forgive  them,  and  then  sail  with  them  as  they 
ask.  I  'm  a  forgiving  man,  but  I  'm  hurt,  Ingraham ; 
hurt.  .  .  .  Well,  if  you  want  to  transfer  that  sum 
to  my  account  without  the  securities.  ...  Of  course 
it  is  only  a  formality,  and  I  can  send  you  down 
my  note.  .  .  .  Thank  you,  Ingraham.  .  .  .  Yes,  the 
Phillips  Trust  handle  my  account  —  or  my  man  Deer- 
ing  will  call.  .  .  .  Make  out  the  check  to  him,  John 
E.  That  will  be  quite  simple.  No,  that 's  all  for 
the  present,  but  I  may  cable  some  orders.  .  .  .  Thank 
you  very  much.  You  've  obliged  me  considerably. 
...  I  suppose  most  fathers  would  feel  that  way,  but 
I  'm  deeply  hurt.  .  .  .  Thank  you.  ...  I  hope  you 
continue  well,  and  you  must  present  my  compliments 
to  Mrs.  Ingraham.  .  .  .  Good-bye,  good-bye.  (He 
puts  the  telephone  down.  His  mood  instantly  re 
laxes,  and  he  is  pleased  with  himself  and  the  world. 
On  the  table  is  a  box  of  cigarettes.  He  takes  one 
and  lights  it  delicately,  saying  to  himself)  Chloe's? 
(He  takes  a  few  puffs;  and  makes  a  discovery)  Ah 
no;  Doris'.  .  .  .  (He  starts  to  pick  up  the  news 
paper.  A  handkerchief  falls  to  the  floor.  He  lifts 
it  and  regards  it  tenderly)  Doris'?  (He  holds  it 
up  to  catch  the  perfume,  smelling  it  daintily)  No, 
Chloe's.  (He  lifts  it  to  his  lips  and  kisses  it.  His 
face  beams  with  love)  My  jewels!  (He  slips  the 
handkerchief  into  his  cuff  as  .  .  .  the  curtain  falls) 

CURTAIN 


THE  SECOND  ACT 
MR.  RODERICK'S  MAGNANIMITY 


PERSONS 

DORIS 

CHLOE 

PAPA 

MR.  RODERICK 

DICK 

ZlMZAPANZI 

LITTLE  DOLORES 
THE  BUTLER 
THE  GOVERNESS 


THE    SECOND    ACT 

A  little  more  than  a  year  lias  elapsed.  It  is  almost 
time  for  tea  when  the  rise  of  the  curtain  discloses  the 
sitting-room  of  Mr.  Roderick's  villa  near  Trowville. 
The  room  is  charming,  and  the  furnishings  are  accord 
ing  to  the  best  French  taste.  French  windows  at  the 
back,  slightly  ajar,  open  onto  a  terrace  overlooking  the 
bay.  Curtained  doorways  are  on  opposite  sides  of  the 
room.  Doris  and  Chloe  are  writing,  their  chairs  are 
across  from  each  other  at  the  same  table,  and  their 
pens  drink  from  the  same  well.  Chloe  writes  in  her 
diary.  Doris  finishes  a  letter  and  addresses  it. 

DORIS 
There ! 

CHLOE  (looking  up) 

How  much  enterprise  it  takes  to  get  a  letter  off ! 

DORIS 

You  're  a  lazy  thing,  Chloe. 

CHLOE  (sweetly) 

Yes,  I  know  I  am.    I  have  n't  your  energy. 

DORIS 

And  I  would  n't  have  yours  when  it  comes  to  writing 
oneself  down  in  a  diary  —  the  way  you  do.  (She 
goes  behind  Chloe1  s  chair  and  reads)  "  I  am  utterly 
happy,  and  my  soul  is  as  peaceful  as  yonder  sea. 
A  year  of  constant  companionship  has  only  made 
our  love  more  perfect.  As  I  write,  the  dawn  throws 


38  PAPA  [ACT  n 

its  golden  glory  o'er  hills  and  bay,  and  there  is 
dawn  in  my  heart !  "  Fine !  Go  on  with  it !  If 
you  can  touch  up  the  dawn  like  that  at  this  time 
of  day,  you  '11  be  turning  into  a  lady-author  yet. 

CHLOE  (sarcastically) 

How  polite  of  you!  To  look  over  my  shoulder  and 
read  my  secret  thoughts ! 

DORIS 

It 's  very  bourgeois  to  be  so  well-bred,  Chloe.  Any 
way,  your  secret  thoughts  are  so  nice  and  romantic. 
I  '11  wager  that  if  you  talked  in  your  sleep  you  'd  be 
as  discreet  as  if  you  were  talking  to  a  reporter. 

CHLOE  (suddenly  intense) 

Don't  mention  talking  in  one's  sleep,  Doris  !  Heavens, 
if  you  could  only  know  what  horrors  I  've  had  of  that ! 
For  a  long  time  I  drank  black  coffee  to  keep  me 
awake.  But  now,  even  if  I  said  anything  about 
Dolores,  Dick  would  just  think  that  I  had  eaten 
something  that  did  n't  agree  with  me.  Is  n't  it  funny, 
Doris,  but  Dick  is  convinced  that  she  belongs  to  Mr. 
Roderick. 

DORIS 

Roddy?    How?    Who?    Just  what  do  you  mean? 

CHLOE 

Don't  get  peevish  about  it,  but  Dick  cannot  see  why 
Mr.  Roderick,  when  he  had  not  been  married  quite  a 
year,  should  send  to  America  for  a  perfectly  strange 
child  to  adopt.  Of  course,  it  does  look  queer. 

DORIS  (angry  and  haughty) 

How  ungrateful  you  are,  Chloe!  You  might  talk 
him  out  of  that,  at  least.  You  're  lucky  enough  not 
to  have  him  find  out  about  you  and  that  tenor  — 
and  because  Roddy  is  so  noble  and  thinks  that  she  's 


ACT  n]  PAPA  39 

my  child,  and  brings  her  here  where  you  can  be  with 
her   every   moment,   he   gets    suspected!      Will   you 
please  tell  me  who  is  supposed  to  be  her  mother? 
CHLOE  (equally  angry  and  haughty) 

I  'm  sure  it  is  n't  my  fault,  Doris.  I  did  n't  tell  Mr. 
Roderick  she  was  your  child.  You  did  it  yourself  — 
and  I  can't  help  it,  can  I,  if  Dick  thinks  that  her 
mother  must  have  been  one  of  Mr.  Roderick's 
protegees?  He  was  always  finding  them  on  the  East 
Side  and  doing  things  for  them  —  and  Dolores  is 
dark. 

DORIS 

You  might,  at  least,  have  picked  out  an  American 
tenor,  or  an  English  —  or  even  a  German  —  to  lose 
your  head  about !  I  will  not  have  people  thinking 
that  my  husband  had  an  affair  with  some  —  some 
ignorant  immigrant! 
CHLOE 

I  'm  sure  that  I  can't  go  back  and  do  it  all  over 
again  now.  .  .  .  Anyway,  the  greatest  tenors  are 
always  Italians. 

[Papa  enters,  younger  and  more  blithe  than  ever. 
His  amiable  and  charming  presence  ends  the  family 
quarrel.  Both  daughters  rise  and  greet  him  with  a 
kiss,  and  all  three  move  to  a  sofa,  where  they  sit, 
affectionately  grouped.  Papa  is  dressed  entirely  in 
white.  He  looks  beautiful  and  benign. 

PAPA 

Ah,  daughters ! 
DORIS  AND  CHLOE  (speaking  together) 

Oh,  Papa,  dear!  .   .  .  Oh,  Papa,  darling! 
DORIS 

Did  you  have  a  good  time,  dear? 


40  PAPA  [ACT  n 

CHLOE 

You  are  n't  tired,  are  you,  dear? 
DORIS 

Did  you  win  or  lose,  dear? 
CHLOE 

How  much,  dear? 
PAPA 

The  goddess  of  luck  smiled  on  me,  my  angels:  it  is 

almost  three  thousand.     (He  shows  them  the  money) 
DORIS 

You  're  a  perfect  wonder,  darling !     I  'in  proud  of 

you. 
CHLOE 

You  are  certainly  a  shark,  Papa.     Who  else  was  at 

the  Casino? 
PAPA  (suddenly  puts  the  money  away  and  stares  into 

space  with  a  look  of  profound  sadness)  That  bounder, 

Witchmere. 

DORIS  AND   CHLOE 

Oh,  really !  .  .   .  Not  really ! 

DORIS 

Did  he  dare  to  be  rude  to  you? 
CHLOE 

What  did  he  do? 

PAPA  / 

He  avoided  me.     He  only  nodded. 
DORIS 

And  you  had  n't  seen  each  other  for  months? 
CHLOE 

I  simply  can't  understand  it! 
DORIS 

Do  you  owe  him  anything,  dear? 


ACT  n]  PAPA  41 

PAPA 

No,  my  darling.  I  've  been  particularly  careful  never 
to  have  any  business  transactions  with  him.  He 
never  has  liked  me. 

DORIS 

He  's  been  jealous  of  you! 

CHLOE 

Georgia  Witchmere  is  such  a  fright  that  she  hates 
everybody.  She  may  have  brains,  but  who  cares 
anything  about  brains? 

PAPA  (repeating) 

Witchmere  's  a  bounder ! 

DORIS 

He  pretends  to  be  so  fearfully  high-brow.  He  makes 
himself  conspicuous  by  being  at  the  opera  before  the 
curtain  goes  up,  and  collects  something  or  other 
that 's  utterly  uninteresting.  But  he  goes  on  his 
knees  to  Roddy,  all  right.  You  ought  to  have  cut 
him,  Papa,  yourself  —  now  that  I'm  married  to 
Roddy. 

PAPA 

I    meant    to,    really  —  but    he    had    such    charming 
people  with  him. 
CHLOE  AND  DORIS  (together) 
Who? 

PAPA 

The  young  Earl  and  the  Countess  of  Hemmingway. 
The  Countess  is  perfectly  exquisite. 

CHLOE  AND  DORIS 

Oh! 

DORIS 

Don't  we  know  someone  else  who  knows  them? 


42  PAPA  [ACT  n 

CHLOE 

Not  a  soul  here  —  but  I  've  heard  a  lot  about  her. 

PAPA 

They  both  looked  bored  to  death  by  Witchmere. 

DORIS 

They  are  really  our  kind,  you  know.  She  's  got  all 
sorts  of  go.  .  .  .  Roddy  's  got  to  get  them  here. 
That  would  fix  the  Witchmeres,  would  n't  it,  darling? 

PAPA  (beaming) 

Perfectly,  my  angel.  Think  of  Witchmere  trying 
to  snub  me!  It  is  amusing!  Of  course  I  shall  have 
to  treat  him  charmingly  to  show  that  I  did  n't  notice 
it. 

CHLOE 

Did  you  meet  anyone  else,  dear? 
PAPA 

Oh,  that  reminds  me!  Something  quite  distressing 
has  occurred. 

CHLOE    AND    DORIS 

What,  dear  Papa? 

PAPA 

That  man  is  here ! 

CHLOE    AND    DORIS 

Which  man? 

PAPA 

Zimzapanzi ! 
CHLOE 

My  Zimzapanzi,  Papa? 
DORIS  (speaking  at  the  same  time) 

Chloe's  Zimzapanzi,  Papa? 

PAPA 

He  's  at  the  hotel,  and  a  very  great  lion,  my  darlings. 
But  he  is  charming.  I  was  introduced  to  him  yes- 


ACT  n]  PAPA  43 

terday.     I  did  n't  mention  it  to  you,  but  I  saw  him 

again  to-day. 
DORIS 

Good  heavens !     Suppose  we  meet  him. 
CHLOE 

Oh,  what  shall  I  do? 

PAPA 

I  thought  of  that.     It  quite  haunted  me  last  night. 

So  to-day  I  went  over  and  had  a  talk  with  him. 
DORIS 

What  did  you  tell  him? 
CHLOE 

What  did  he  say? 

PAPA 

I  told  him  all  —  about  little  Dolores,  and  Chloe's 
marriage  to  Dick,  and  Doris  —  everything.  He  was 
profoundly  touched,  my  dears. 

CHLOE 

Does  he  love  me  still? 

DORIS 

Do  you  think  we  shall  run  into  him? 

PAPA 

I  explained  the  difficulties.  He  will  be  sure  to  help 
us  avoid  any  embarrassing  situations.  He  still  cher 
ishes  the  memory  of  Chloe,  and  apologized  to  me  most 
abjectly.  It  was  very  wise,  I  think,  to  have  this 
understanding  with  him. 

[Leopold  enters  with  the  tea  things.  He  arranges 
the  table. 

DORIS 

Tell  them,  Leopold.  (The  servant  bows  and  goes 
out)  You  shall  have  tea,  darling,  at  once.  (She 
busies  herself  at  the  table)  Chloe,  too.  She  's  begun 


44  PAPA  [ACT  n 

to  moon.     Now,  whatever  happens,  Chloe,  be  a  sport 
and  don't  look  as  if  a  ghost  were  hanging  around. 
CHLOE  (bracing  up  a  little) 

Don't  worry  about  me,  Doris.  Is  —  is  he  any  stouter, 
Papa? 

PAPA 

He  's  robust  —  quite  robust  —  but  not  —  not  un 
usually  so  —  for  a  tenor. 

DORIS  (busy  making  the  tea) 

Oh  yes,  Papa,  I  wanted  to  ask  you  what  you  think 
of  my  attitude  toward  little  Dolores.  Is  it  right? 

PAPA 

Quite  perfect,  my  darling. 

CHLOE 

Ah,  if  you  could  only  know  how  hard  it  is  for  me ! 

DORIS 

Well,  I  'm  the  one  that  has  the  difficult  time  —  being 
as  soft  as  Roddy  expects.  I  'm  not  a  bit  that  way 
myself,  but  he  is  so  happy  about  restoring  her  to 
me  that  I  have  to  keep  on  acting  like  a  long-lost 
mother  — 

CHLOE  (interrupting,  as  if  making  a  point) 

Mr.  Roderick  certainly  does  act  like  a  long-lost 
father.  You  '11  admit  that,  at  least. 

DORIS  (icily) 

That  is  because  he  has  so  much  magnanimity. 
[Mr.  Roderick  and  Dick  enter.  Mr.  Roderick  is  as 
noticeably  spic-and-span  as  ever,  and  Dick  as  ultra- 
fashionable  in  his  fastidious  fashion.  There  are  ex 
clamations  in  chorus  as  the  five  of  them  spread  them 
selves  comfortably  about,  indolently  and  gracefully. 
Mr.  Roderick,  of  course,  waits  near  Doris,  in  order 


ACT  ii ]  PAPA  45 

to  make  himself  useful.     Tommy,  the  English  Bull, 

follows  and  conducts  himself  with  charm  and  taste. 
DORIS 

Roddy,  dear,  here  's  Chloe's  cup. 

[Mr.  Roderick  does  what  is  required  in  very  perfect 

fashion. 
DORIS 

Rum  or  cream,  to-day,  Papa? 
PAPA 

Cream,  dearest,  thank  you. 
DORIS 

How  about  it,  Dick? 
CHLOE 

I  long  for  a  sandwich. 
DORIS 

Roddy,  the  sandwiches. 

[Chloe  is  quickly  satisfied  by  the  alert  Mr.  Roderick. 
DICK 

Rum  for  me,  Doris. 
DORIS 

Here  you  are. 

[Dick  secures  his  own  cup  as  Papa  is  peering  side 
ways  at  two  sandwiches  to  see  which  he  prefers.     It 

is  finally  decided  by  his  taking  two.     Dick,  on  his 

way   to  his  chair,  secures  a  sandwich  for  himself; 

and  now  Mr.  Roderick,  after  fussing  with  the  lamp 

for  Doris,  relaxes  sufficiently  to  take  the  cup  that 

she  has  fixed  for  him. 
PAPA 

Here,  Tommy:   beg! 

[Tommy,  having  begged  nicely,  is  allowed  to  share 

Papa's  sandwich. 


46  PAPA  [ACT  n 

MR.   RODERICK 

Will  you  have  anything  else,  my  dear? 

DORIS 

A  sandwich.    Where  are  they? 
[Mr.  Roderick  passes  them. 

DORIS 

Thanks. 

CHLOE 

Here,  Tommy. 

[Tommy  goes  toward  her  to  beg  for  more. 

MR.  RODERICK 

Suppose  we  have  little  Dolores  down?     Shall  we? 
PAPA 

Ah  yes,  where  is  our  little  angel? 

DORIS 

Ring,  Roddy. 

[Mr.  Roderick  rings. 

CHLOE 

Papa  says  the  Witchmeres  are  at  the  hotel,  Dick. 

[The  butler  appears. 
DORIS 

Send  Mile.  Dolores,  Leopold. 

[The  butler  bows  and  disappears. 
DICK 

Are  they  coming  over? 
DORIS 

Don't  anybody  ask  them  here !     I  don't  want  them ! 
PAPA 

But  why,  my  dear? 
DORIS  (petulantly) 

All    of   them    get    on    my    nerves,    frightfully:    they 

always  did. 


ACT  11]  PAPA  47 

MR.  RODERICK  (soothingly) 

Then  they  can't  come.  I  '11  avoid  asking  them. 
[Little  Dolores  enters,  followed  by  her  governess. 
The  child  is  dark  and  thin,  with  much  dignity  and 
very  accurate  manners.  Her  clothes  are  picturesque 
and  fascinating.  As  she  makes  her  little  courtesy 
and  runs  to  Doris,  waiting  for  the  others  to  stop 
speaking,  she  is  really  quite  wonderful.  Her  ease 
is  astonishing.  The  governess,  a  French  woman,  pre 
cise,  dignified,  and  with  a  startlingly  interesting  face, 
waits  near  the  door,  following  Dolores'  conduct  with 
careful  eyes.  Contempt,  indifference,  and  a  super 
ficial  respect  are  all  in  her  attitude. 

PAPA  AND  CHLOE  (speaking  together) 
Ah!     The  angel!     The  darling! 

MR.  RODERICK  AND  DORIS  (following  closely) 
The  dear  child  !  —  My  little  one  ! 

DICK   (lagging  a  little  with  his  comment) 
Cutie ! 

DOLORES  (as  if  unconscious  that  she  has  been  men 
tioned)  Bon  j our,  Maman  !  (She  lifts  her  face  for  a 
kiss,  while  her  entire  audience  is  breathlessly  watch 
ing  her) 

DORIS  (kissing  her  with  elaborate  affection) 
D'ou  viens  tu,  ma  cherie? 

DOLORES 

Je  viens  de  manger  mon  petit  souper  avec  Made 
moiselle,  Maman.  (Another  courtesy,  and  she  is  off 
to  Mr.  Roderick,  bobbing  to  him)  Bon  jour,  Papa. 

MR.  RODERICK 

Bon  jour,  ma  petite. 

[He  kisses  her,  and  then  lifts  her  high  in  the  air  by 


48  PAPA  [ACT  n 

way  of  being  entertaining.  Even  at  this  lack  of  tact 
Dolores  does  not  lose  her  self-possession.  When  she 
is  replaced  on  the  floor,  she  courtesies  again  and  runs 
to  Chloe. 

DOLORES 

Bon  jour,  ma  tante. 

[Chloe  interrupts  speech  and  bows  with  an  emotional 

embrace  that  Dolores  finds  distinctly  trying. 

CHLOE 

Ah  —  my  darling  little  Dolores!     Do  you  love  me? 

DOLORES  (prettily  and  almost  successfully  hiding  a 
yawn  as  she  answers  in  a  bored  tone  of  voice)  Oui, 
oui,  tante  Chloe.  (She  bobs  instantly  and  is  off  to 
Papa,  who  rises  to  receive  her;  they  enjoy  one  an 
other,  obviously,  and  Dolores  drops  her  very  best 
courtesy)  Bon  jour,  Grand-papa. 
[Papa  kisses  her  hand,  and  then  both  her  cheeks. 

PAPA 

Bon  jour,  mon  ange. 

DOLORES  (seeing  Tommy  lurking  enviously  near) 
O,  le  chien,  le  chien ! 

PAPA 

Come  here,  Tommy.  (He  drags  Tommy  by  the  col 
lar  into  Dolores*  proximity  and  invites  her  to  pat 
Tommy  on  the  head;  then  encouragingly  and  pre 
cisely)  Mets  ta  petite  main  sur  la  tete  du  bon  chien, 
ma  cherie. 

[Dolores  obeys  by  resting  her  little  hand  delicately 
on  the  head  of  the  good  dog.  Tommy  behaves  beau 
tifully.  Everyone  regards  them  attentively.  Doris 
lights  a  cigarette. 

DOLORES 

Merci,  Grandpapa.     Bon  jour,  Tommy. 


ACT  ii ]  PAPA  49 

PAPA  (to  the  governess) 

May  I  invite  Dolores  to  share  my  sandwich,  Made 
moiselle  ? 

THE    GOVERNESS     (in    accented    English    mixed    with 
French)    Pardonnez,  mais  non,  M'sieu.    She  has  had 
her  supper  and  a  bon-bon.     Ca  suffit. 
[Dolores  is  unconcerned.     She  leaves   Tommy  and 
Papa  reluctantly,  to  run  to  Dick. 

DOLORES  (bobbing  perfunctorily) 
Bon  jour,  oncle  Dick. 

DICK  (trying  to  patronize  her) 
Hello,  kiddie. 

[Dolores  turns  her  face  up  to  be  kissed  in  spite  of 
these  barbaric  manners,  and  after  Dick  has  given  the 
kiss  she  makes  still  another  courtesy  and  runs  to 
Mademoiselle,  who  is  waiting  with  one  hand  out 
stretched  as  a  hint  that  they  must  go.  Dolores  takes 
the  hand,  then  releases  it  to  make  her  farewell  cour 
tesy  after  she  has  spoken. 

DOLORES 

Bonne  nuit,  Maman ;  bonne  nuit,  Papa;  bonne  nuit, 
tante  Chloe;  bonne  nuit,  Grand-papa;  bonne  nuit, 
oncle  Dick. 

ALL  (in  chorus) 

Bonne  nuit,  ma  cherie !  .  .  .  Ma  petite !  .  .  .  etc. 
[Dolores  is  about  to  go.     Suddenly  she  remembers 
something  and  clasps  her  hands. 

DOLORES 

O,  la  priere !  la  priere ! 

[A  second  of  silence  answers.     Doris  holds  out  her 

arms. 


50  PAPA  [ACT  n 

DORIS 

Viens  t'a  genouiller  ici,  mon  ange. 
[Dolores  runs  to  Doris  and  kneels  prettily;  she  bows 
her  head  and  clasps  her  hands  and  makes  an  exquisite 
and  touching  figure  as  she  goes  through  her  little 
French  prayer.  Everyone  about  her  watches  her 
intently  and  everyone  is  fixed  in  an  attitude  of  abso 
lute  silence,  with  fingers  to  lips  in  a  warning  to  each 
other  to  be  attentive.  Papa  is  positively  reverent, 
and  Chloe  seems  about  to  yield  to  her  emotion.  Doris 
herself  looks  sweet  and  lovely,  as  she  sits  with  her 
eyes  downcast  above  the  kneeling  child,  one  hand  on 
Dolores9  head,  the  other,  with  the  cigarette  between 
the  fingers,  held  off  in  the  air  in  an  attentive  gesture. 
The  atmosphere  relaxes  when  the  prayer  is  finished, 
and  Dolores  arises. 

DOLORES 

Bonne  nuit,  Maman ! 

[Dolores  does  not  think  it  necessary  to  address  all 

the  others,  but  runs  again  to  Mademoiselle,  who  bows 

slightly  and  takes  the  child 's  hand.     Then  they  are 

gone. 

PAPA 

The  little  angel ! 

CHLOE 

The  darling! 

DORIS  {dutifully) 
My  adorable  baby ! 

PAPA 

It  is  positively  touching  to  see  a  pure  little  child  say 
ing  its  evening  prayer. 

DICK 

How  about  some  bridge  before  dinner? 


ACT  ii  ]  PAPA  51 

PAPA  (delighted) 

I  'm  just  in  the  mood.     (To  Doris  and  Chloe)    Who 

will  play? 
CHLOE  (tranquil  again) 

I  '11  take  a  hand. 

DICK 

How  about  it,  Doris? 
DORIS 

No,  thanks. 

[The  others  all  look  toward  Mr.  Roderick. 

MR.   RODERICK 

You  don't  need  me,  do  you?    If  you  don't  mind  play 
ing  with  the  dummy,  I  '11  stay  out. 

PAPA 

Are  we  expecting  any  guests  for  dinner,  dear? 
DORIS 

No,    dear,    but    we  '11    motor    to    the    Casino    later, 

perhaps. 

[Chloe  and  Dick  -follow  Papa  into  another  room. 
DORIS 

More  tea,  Roddy,  dear? 
MR.  RODERICK  (shakes  his  head) 

No,  my  dear. 
DORIS  (holding  out  a  cigarette  case) 

A  cigarette,  dear? 

MR.   RODERICK 

No,  my  dear. 
DORIS 

Got  a  headache?     (She  ruffles  his  hair) 

MR.   RODERICK 

No,  my  dear. 
DORIS 

Worried?     What  about? 


52  PAPA  [ACT  u 

MR.  RODERICK 

Are  you  happy,  Doris? 
DORIS 

Oh,  yes,  Roddy:  perfectly. 

MR.    RODERICK 

Have  I  done  all  that  you  dreamed  and  hoped  about 
little  Dolores? 

DORIS 

You  have  been  simply  splendid.  You  have  shown  the 
greatest  magnanimity.  Papa  said  so  himself. 

MR.    RODERICK 

Well,  I  want  to  do  still  more:    to  bring  myself  to 

show  a  greater  magnanimity ! 
DORIS  (amazed) 

What  —  what  could  you  possibly  do? 
MR.  RODERICK  (slowly,  with  emotional  emphasis) 

Permit   Dolores'   father  —  her   real   father  —  to   see 

his  child! 
DORIS  (appalled) 

That  —  that  man ! 

MR.    RODERICK 

I  have  given  the  subject  much  thought.  I  have  said 
to  myself  that,  after  all,  Zimzapanzi  is  a  great  tenor : 
artists  have  certain  prerogatives  —  great  artists,  I 
mean.  His  mistake  about  you  was  unpardonable  in 
every  way,  but  doubtless  he  did  not  know  who  you 
were.  He  confused  you  with  a  different  type  of  per 
son.  We  must  not  forget  that  he  is  a  foreigner. 
DORIS 

Yes,  I  forgave  him :  Papa  forgave  him :  Chloe  for 
gave  him :  but  we  all  feel  —  we  all  consider  him 
quite,  quite  impossible,  socially. 


ACT  n]  PAPA  53 

ME.  RODERICK 

But  surely  the  situation  is  more  difficult  for  me  than 
for  anyone  else  — 
DORIS  (interrupting) 

But  there  is  n't  any  situation  that  I  can  see. 

MR.    RODERICK 

My  darling,  be  brave!     Zimzapanzi  is  here! 
DORIS  (acting  her  best  and  pretending  amazement) 
Here? 

MR.    RODERICK 

At  the  inn.  Yesterday  he  picked  me  up  when  one 
of  my  tires  got  a  puncture  and  took  me  on  to  the 
Casino  in  his  machine.  I  did  n't  know  who  he  was 
until  we  had  lunched  together,  though  I  discovered 
him  at  once  to  be  a  man  of  great  distinction,  my 
dear,  and  charm. 
DORIS 

Oh,  Roddy,  you  don't  want  to  bring  him  back  into 
my  life,  do  you?  (She  seems  alarmed) 

MR.    RODERICK 

He   is   with    some   charming   people  —  the   Farl   of 
Hemmingway,  and  the  Countess. 
DORIS  (interested  in  this  delightful  news) 

But  Roddy  —  do  you  think  we  could  have  them  here? 
Zimzapanzi,  I  mean. 

MR.  RODERICK 

If  I  can  endure  it,  and  you  can  endure  it,  we  must 
—  for  the  sake  of  Little  Dolores !  It  is  his  right, 
Doris ! 

DORIS 

Have  you  —  asked  —  him  — ? 

MR.    RODERICK 

I  went  over  to-day.     I  told  him  all. 


54  PAPA  [ACT  n 

DORIS 

What  did  he  say? 

MR.    RODERICK 

Very  little.  .  .  .  He  wrung  my  hand.  .  .  .  He  un 
derstands.  .  .  .  He  thanked  me  for  —  for  —  every 
thing  —  particularly  for  speaking. 
DORIS  (rising  and  becoming  animated  with  the  spirit  of 
this  adventure)  You  are  right !  We  '11  introduce 
them.  Oh,  Roddy,  dear,  you  are  so  noble! 

MR.    RODERICK 

My  darling!    (He  embraces  her  tenderly)    But  what 
ever  your  memories  —  you  will  —  you  will  not  — ? 
He  is  fascinating,  my  darling! 
DORIS 

Now,  Roddy,  don't  worry  about  that.  I  could  not 
love  anybody  but  you.  I  am  really  not  at  all  senti 
mental  about  my  —  past.  Only  seeing  him  will  be 
difficult. 

MR.    RODERICK 

I  understand  perfectly.  But  I  shall  not  leave  you  to 
bear  the  strain  alone:  the  child  and  I  will  help  you 
through  the  first  meeting. 

[Leopold  appears  with  a  card  on  a  tray,  Doris  takes 
it:     her   eyes   and  Mr.    Roderick's   meet    and   both 
thrill  with  tlie  consciousness  that  this  is  a  dramatic 
situation. 
DORIS 

It  is  —  he ! 

MR.    RODERICK 

Ask  the  Signer  to  wait,  Leopold.  (The  servant  bows 
and  goes  out;  Mr.  Roderick  turns  to  Doris)  Now, 
my  darling,  be  brave !  I  did  not  think  that  he  would 


ACT  n]  PAPA  55 

come  so  soon,  but  doubtless  the  thought  of  Little 
Dolores  haunted  him.  I  will  go,  myself,  and  bring 
her  to  you.  Wait  here. 

[He  leads  Tier  to  a  chair  and  indicates  that  she  is  to 
sit  down.  He  places  her,  just  so,  and  turns  the  chair 
at  an  effective  angle:  then,  on  tiptoe,  as  if  he  were 
at  a  funeral,  he  leaves  the  room.  As  soon  as  he  is 
gone,  she  springs  from  her  chair  and  to  the  other 
doorway.  Her  voice,  as  she  calls,  keeping  an  eye 
out  for  Mr.  Roderick's  return,  is  a  tense  stage- 
whisper. 

DORIS 

Papa !    I  want  you  —  just  a  second ! 
[Doris  scampers  back  to  her  chair  and  takes  care  to 
arrange  herself  just  as  Mr.  Roderick  left  her.    Papa 
enters,  his  cards  in  his  hand,  excitement  and  alarm 
m  his  face. 

PAPA 

My  angel,  what  is  it? 

DORIS  (takes  on  the  air  of  a  guilty  conspirator  as  she 
leans  toward  him  and  speaks  in  a  tense  voice)  It 's 
that  man,  Papa  —  Zimzapanzi :  he  's  here !  I  can't 
explain  —  but  Roddy  thought  he  ought  to  meet 
Dolores,  and  got  him  over  from  the  hotel.  It 's  a 
good  thing  that  you  told  him  that  Roddy  thinks 
she  's  my  child,  so  he  won't  think  Chloe  is  Roddy's 
wife  —  and  spoil  everything.  You  're  sure  he  got 
that  straight? 

PAPA 

Yes,  my  darling.    He  was  very  much  touched  by  your 
nobility  in  assuming  your  sister's  mistake.     He  said 
that  such  unselfishness  was  very  rare. 
[Chloe  enters  with  her  cards  still  in  her  hand. 


56  PAPA  [ACT  n 

DORIS  (rising  excitedly) 

Good  heavens!    What  do  you  want,  Chloe? 

CHLOE 

I  saw  him  come !    Where  is  he  ? 

DORIS 

S'sh:  here's  Roddy! 

[The  three  are  grouped  like  conspirators  when 
through  the  doorway  suddenly  enter  Mr.  Roderick 
and  Zimzapanzi,  with  Little  Dolores  between  them. 
They  enter  in  absolute  and  beautiful  silence.  Little 
Dolores  wears  a  pink  dressing  gown  to  her  ankles,  and 
on  her  -feet  are  pink  knitted  bedroom  slippers  with 
wide  pink  bows  on  them.  Mr.  Roderick,  Dolores  and 
Zimzapanzi  form  a  group  directly  facing  Doris,  Papa 
and  Chloe.  There  is  an  intense  long  pause.  In  fact, 
the  pause  is  too  long.  Zimzapanzi,  who  is  fat  and 
obviously  a  child  of  Italy  and  a  person  of  tempera 
ment,  stares  from  Doris  to  Chloe  hopelessly.  His 
eyes  are  blank.  He  feels  that  something  is  required 
of  him,  but  he  has  a  poor  memory  for  faces.  Papa 
feels  that  someone  ought  to  say  something. 

PAPA  (bowing) 

Ah,  Signor  Zimzapanzi!  How  delightful  to  have 
this  pleasure. 

[Zimzapanzi  bows  low  in  response  —  but  his  eyes  are 
blank  as  he  still  looks  hopelessly  out  of  the  corner 
of  his  eyes,  first  at  Doris,  then  at  Chloe,  then  at  Mr. 
Roderick.  He  is  almost  praying  for  someone  to  help 
him.  Neither  Papa  nor  Mr.  Roderick  quite  tyiow 
what  is  the  matter.  They  take  his  silence  for  fitting 
emotion,  but  begin  to  feel  there  has  been  enough. 
They  expect  something  different.  Suddenly,  as  the 


ACT  n]  PAPA  57 

pause  is  exquisitely  embarrassing  and  painful,  little 
Dolores  runs  toward  Doris. 

DOLORES 

Maman !     Maman ! 

[Zimzapanzi  recovers  his  poise  at  once.  Doris  seats 
herself  again  in  the  effective  attitude  in  which  Mr. 
Roderick  had  placed  her.  She  opens  her  arms  to 
Dolores  and  lifts  her  upon  her  lap. 

DORIS 

Viens  ici,  ma  petite. 

[Now  that  Doris  and  Dolores  are  adjusted  and  Zim- 
zapanzi  is  sure  of  his  ground,  he  advances  toward 
them  with  operatic  ease. 

PAPA 

You  '11  pardon  us  ?  We  are  at  bridge. 
[Mr.  Roderick  nods,  Doris  nods,  Zimzapanzi  nods, 
but  no  one  replies.  Chloe  give's  one  stormy  look 
toward  Zimzapanzi  and  rushes  out.  Papa  -follows. 
Mr.  Roderick  takes  a  chair  at  the  back  of  the  room. 
Zimzapanzi  feels  that  his  way  is  clear,  and  he  begins 
a  performance  calculated  to  charm  his  host  as  well 
as  his  hostess.  He  drops  on  one1  fat  knee  with  aston 
ishing  ease.  His  voice  is  deep  and  glorious,  his  Eng 
lish  almost  perfect.  His  exclamation  is  full  of  feeling. 

ZIMZAPANZI 

Ah!  You!  (Taking  her  hand  he  kisses  it  rever 
ently)  And  our  little  one! 

\He  regards  Dolores9  little  dark  face  with  undeniably 
genuine  interest  and  affection.  Doris  finds  him  a 
worthy  collaborator.  She  proceeds  to  act  her  part 
with  much  enjoyment  and  confidence  —  keeping  an 
eye  on  Mr.  Roderick  for  effect. 


58  PAPA  [ACT  n 

DORIS 

You  —  you  remember  me  ? 

[Her  voice  is  sweet  and  Zimzapanzi  does  not  fail  her. 

His  answer  is  full  of  beauty  and  pathos. 

ZIMZAPANZI 

As  I  remember  few  things  in  my  life,  Madame ! 

DORIS 

Sit  there,  won't  you,  near  us? 

[She  indicates  a  large  chair.  Zimzapanzi  rises  from 
his  knees  and  brings  this  chair  still  closer  to  her  own. 
He  seats  himself  and  waits.  There  is  a  brief  pause. 

DORIS  (referring  to  the  child  in  her  arms) 

This  is  your  —  this  is  our  —  daughter,  Little  Do 
lores.  Is  n't  she  sweet?  I  think  she  is  very  much 
like  you.  Don't  you? 

ZIMZAPANZI 

Let  me  look  at  her. 

[Dolores  is  pushed  by  Doris  into  an  upright  position: 

she  regards  the  stranger  with  polite  curiosity. 

ZIMZAPANZI 

Yes,  yes,  she  is  like  me.  But  she  is  more  like  my 
sister  Teresa.  One  would  notice  the  resemblance 
at  once. 

DORIS 

Have  you  any  other  children?  (There  is  the  briefest 
pause)  Oh,  I  beg  your  pardon!  Roddy,  dear, 
Dolores  is  like  the  Signer,  is  n't  she? 

MR.    RODERICK 

Quite,  quite;   yes,  quite. 
[Another  slight  pause. 
ZIMZAPANZI 

Would  she  —  come  to  me,  you  think? 


ACT  ii ]  PAPA  59 

DORIS  (with  an  inspiration) 

You  shall  be  her  uncle!  Cherie,  do  you  see  the  new 
uncle?  Will  you  not  go  and  speak  to  him?  He  is 
a  good  uncle  and  loves  you  very  much.  Vas 
1'embrasser. 

DOLORES 

Oui,  oui,  Maman.  (She  slides  from  Doris'  arms, 
courtesies  to  the  guest,  and  holds  up  her  face  to  be 
kissed)  Bon  Jour,  mon  oncle. 

[The  emotional  Zimzapanzi  sweeps  the  child  into  his 
arms,  kissing  her  and  murmuring  Italian  words  to  her 
in  his  splendid  voice.  Dolores  likes  him  at  once. 

ZIMZAPANZI 

Ah  —  pretty  baby  —  mea  cara !     Com'  e  carina ! 
[Dolores  is  impressed  and  even  puts  her  arms  about 
his  neck.    Doris  is  delighted. 

DORIS 

Oh,  you  are  simply  splendid !  Roddy,  is  n't  he  splen 
did?  He  does  love  the  child,  and  she  loves  him !  You 
were  right.  Is  n't  my  husband  the  noblest  man  in 
the  world,  Signer? 

ZIMZAPANZI  (a  little  surprised) 

Yes,  Madame,  M'sieur  is  most  generous.  I  —  can 
not  quite  understand  such  magnificence  of  the  heart. 
This  is  a  profound  —  a  great  joy — you  may  be 
lieve  —  for  me ! 

DORIS 

You  shall  come  and  see  her  every  day !  Can't  he, 
Roddy?  You  are  stopping  for  some  time  at  the 
hotel? 

ZIMZAPANZI 

For  a  month,  Madame;    then  I  must  go  to  London. 


60  PAPA  [ACT  n 

DORIS 

Roddy  says  you  are  with  friends? 
ZIMZAPANZI 

Yes,  Madame ;  I  should  so  like  that  you  might  know 

them. 

[Papa  enters  again.     It  is  plain  that  he  could  not 

keep  away. 
DORIS 

Papa,  dear,  you  've  no  idea  how  perfect  it  has  been 

to  see  them  together !     The  Signer  adores  Dolores ! 

And  she  adores  him ! 
PAPA   {advancing   toward  the  group  and  speaking  to 

Dolores)    Who  is  this,  darling? 
DOLORES 

Mon  cher  oncle.    {Dolores  slips  from  Zimzapanzi's 

arms  at  this,,  kisses  Papa,  and  then  curls  herself  up  in 

a  chair;  she  soon  goes  to  sleep) 
DORIS 

I  thought  she  'd  better  call  him  "  uncle  " ;  it  is  much 

simpler. 

MR.    RODERICK 

Quite  right. 

[Mr.  Roderick  has  left  his  seat,  and  he  and  Papa  are 

now  standing  near  Doris. 
PAPA 

Quite  tactful  of  you,  my  darling. 
DORIS 

Signor  Zimzapanzi  is  coming  every  day  to  see  her, 

until  he  goes  to  London,  and  he  has  some  friends  he 

wants  us  to  meet. 
ZIMZAPANZI 

The  Earl  and  the  Countess  of  Hemmingway:  they 

are  what  you  call  in  America  "  good  sports." 


ACT  n]  PAPA  61 

PAPA 

That  will  be  delightful. 

ZIMZAPANZI  (rising  and  turning  to  Mr.  Roderick) 
I   do   not  know  quite  how  —  to  —  say   my   thanks : 
especially  to  you,  M'sieur.     (He  bows  to  Mr.  Rod 
erick) 

MR.  RODERICK  (beaming  with  his  nobility) 

Say  nothing,  I  beg  of  you:  I  have  done  only  what 
—  what  was  right,  what  was  just.  Your  attitude  has 
firmly  convinced  me  that  I  have  made  no  mistake. 
Perhaps  you  will  dine  with  us? 

ZIMZAPANZI 

I  have  engaged  my  friends  to  dine  with  me.  It  is 
unfortunate.  Perhaps  we  might  meet  later? 

PAPA 

That  would  be  delightful. 

ZIMZAPANZI 

And  still  later,  supper.    I  will  sing ! 
DORIS 

How  perfect ! 
ZIMZAPANZI  (to  Doris) 

You  have  friends  with  you? 
DORIS 

There  will  be  five  of  us. 
ZIMZAPANZI  (to  Papa  and  Mr.  Roderick) 

It  is  arranged.     And  now,  au  revoir.     We  shall  meet 

to-night.     (He  bows  over  Doris*  hand  with  profound 

reverence)     Au  revoir,  Madame. 

\_Doris  rings  the  bell  as  Zimzapanzi  moves  away  and 

stops  by  the  chair  in  which  Dolores  has  gone  to  sleep. 

He  stoops  and  kisses  her,  speaking  in  a  low  voice 

without  awaking  her. 


62  PAPA  [ACT  n 

ZIMZAPANZI 

^  Buona  notte,   mea   cara!      (Now   he   turns    to   Mr. 

Roderick)     Again,  M'sieur,  I  thank  you. 

[Leopold  has  appeared  and  Zimzapanzi  makes  a  good 

exit.     There  is  a  slight  pause,   then  Papa  speaks 

blithely. 
PAPA 

Perfectly  charming,  is  n't  he? 

MR.    RODERICK 

Great  distinction  and  understanding. 

[Dick  and  Chloe  enter;  he  is  peevish. 
DICK 

When  you  play  bridge,  you  've  got  to  play  bridge. 
CHLOE 

I  know,  Dick,  but  I  had  the  fidgets. 
PAPA 

You  must  pardon  me,  my  dear  boy.     Bridge  should 

not  be  attempted  at  such  a  time.     It  is  a  thing  not 

to  be  taken  lightly  and  given  only  one's  odd  moments. 
DORIS 

Well,  it 's   time  to  dress   for  dinner  now,   anyway. 

Signor  Zimzapanzi  has  asked  us  to  supper,  Chloe. 

The  Hemmingways  are  to  be  there,  so  look  spiffy. 
DICK 

Earl  of  Hemmingway?    I  'd  like  to  know  why  people 

like  that  take  up  with  opera-singers  and  artists  and 

people  like  that? 
DORIS 

What  would  you  wear,  Chloe:   that  yellow  thing,  or 

the  little  mauve  from  Lucille.     It  always  makes  a  hit. 

.  .  .  The  Witchmeres  are  sure  to  see  us. 
CHLOE 

The  mauve,  I  think.   .  .  .  I  'd  better  put  on  my  green 


ACT  u]  PAPA  63 

one,  with  the  silver  do-jiggers.  .  .  .  No,  I  shall  wear 
that  simple  white  chiffon,  with  the  pink  rosebuds. 

PAPA 

You  look  exactly  like  a  debutante  in  it,  my  dear.  Do 
you  remember  one,  almost  like  it,  that  you  had  in 
your  first  season? 

CHLOE  (impassively,  and  with  a  far-off  look) 
I  was  just  thinking  of  it. 

DORIS 

Where  are  we  to  meet  them,  Roddy? 

MR.    RODERICK 

I  don't  think  he  said,  my  dear.    I  '11  see  if  I  can  catch 

him,  and  ask  him.    (He  goes  out  through  the  terrace, 

in  a  hurry) 
PAPA  (generously,  as  he  goes  out  through  curtained 

doorway)    Now,  my  darling  daughters,  be  very  nice, 

for  my  sake,  to  the  Witchmeres. 
DORIS 

Yes,  Papa.     Come  on,  Chloe. 
CHLOE 
-  In  a  moment. 

[Doris  follows  Papa  out. 
DICK 

Come  on,  Chloe. 
CHLOE 

In  a  moment,  Dick.     Don't  wait. 

[Dick  follows  Doris  out.     Chloe,  left  alone,  stands 

beside  Dolores9  chair  and  looks  down  at  the  sleeping 

child.    Her  attitude  is  tender  and  romantic.    Zimza- 

panzi  reenters. 
ZIMZAPANZI  (coming  through  the  curtained  doorway  and 

stopping  hesitantly  as  he  speaks)    Pardon  me  —  we 


64  PAPA  [ACT  n 

were  not  introduced,  I  believe.    (Chloe  turns  to  him; 
he  is  explanatory  and  untroubled)    But  I  returned 
to   say  that  I  shall   await  my  guests  at  the  hotel. 
We  shall  go  to  the  Casino  together.     You  will  tell 
the  others? 
CHLOE 
Yes. 

ZIMZAPANZI 

Your  face  is  a  little  familiar,  Madame.  I  trust  that 
you  are  coming,  too.  (There  is  a  little  pause;  he 
speaks  with  charm)  Have  we  ever  met  before? 

CHLOE 

It  was  a  long  time  ago.  (Her  tone  is  cold  and  half- 
tragic;  involuntarily  she  glances  at  Dolores) 

ZIMZAPANZI 

You  are — ?  Forgive  me!  I  —  I  remember  now. 
I  did  not  understand  from  your  father  that  you,  too, 
were  here.  Yes,  yes,  I  remember!  (His  tone  is  un 
certain,  but  contrite) 

CHLOE 

No,  you  don't. 

ZIMZAPANZI 

But  I  —  I  am  almost  remembering.  Forgive  me !  I 
—  I  —  one  has  so  much  to  remember  in  my  pro 
fession,  Madame.  You  do  forgive  me? 

CHLOE 

I  forgave  you  —  everything,  even  this  —  the  first 
time  that  I  heard  you  sing  —  afterwards. 

ZIMZAPANZI  (eagerly) 
What  was  my  role? 

CHLOE 

I  —  I  —  I  —  don't  remember  exactly,  now. 


ACT  ii ] PAPA 65 

ZIMZAPANZI  (wounded  and  angry  and  childish) 

Indeed !  How  is  that  possible,  if  it  meant  so  much 
to  you? 

CHLOE  (formal  again,  ignoring  his  question) 

And  now,  au  revoir.  You  can  go  this  way.  Mr. 
Roderick  is  looking  for  you,  but  I  will  give  him  the 
message  if  you  miss  him.  (She  points  the  way  through 
the  French  windows  across  the  terrace)  Follow  that 
walk.  Your  motor  is  around  that  curve. 

ZIMZAPANZI 

Au  revoir.  ...  I  —  I  am  not  a  bad  fellow,  Madame. 
[He  lifts  her  hand  to  his  lips,  kisses  it  apologetically, 
bows  and  goes  out.  She  watches  him  a  second,  shrugs 
her  shoulders  and  goes  out  through  the  curtained 
doorway.  A  brief  pause.  Leopold  appears,  straight 
ens  a  chair  or  two,  sees  Dolores  and  removes  her  — 
as  the  curtain  falls. 

CURTAIN 


THE    THIRD   ACT 
PAPA'S    FUTURE 


PERSONS 

DORIS 

CHLOE 

PAPA 

MR.  RODERICK 

DICK 

MRS.  BLYTHE 

A  MAID 


THE    THIRD    ACT 

Seven  or  eight  months  have  passed,  and  the  Spring 
is  approaching  in  London.  Doris  and  Chloe,  m  a  sit 
ting-room  of  their  complicated  suite  at  the  Ritz-Carlton, 
are  trying  to  think  of  something  that  they  might  do  at 
this  early  hour  of  half-past  eleven  in  the  morning. 
They  are  distinctly  bored.  Chloe  puts  aside  her  maga 
zine  and  turns  to  Doris,  who  is  playing  solitaire  at  a 
table. 

CHLOE       <     k" 

How  stupid  everything  is ! 
DORIS 

London  is  a  wretched  place  to  shop,  too.    (She  plays 

her  last   card  and  sweeps   them   all   back   into   the 

deck;  this  she  puts  in  its  place  in  a  rack  on  the  table) 
CHLOE 

I  don't  even  feel  Hke  buying  anything. 
DORIS 

What  is  the  matter  with  everybody? 
CHLOE 

You  'd  better   ask   what   is   the   matter   with   Papa. 

Anyone  with  half  an  eye  can  see  that  something  's 

wrong. 
DORIS 

It 's  the  weather.     I  '11  get  Roddy  to  take  us  to  the 

Riviera.     Papa  needs  a  change. 
CHLOE 

He  has  had  a  beautiful  time  here. 


70  PAPA  [ACT  m 

DORIS 

Everyone  is  simply  mad  about  him. 

CHLOE 

He  goes  everywhere  and  knows  everybody. 

DORIS 

The  Princess  adored  him.  She  told  him  all  her  chil 
dren's  ages,  and  all  the  funny  things  that  they  had 
said  since  they  could  talk. 

CHLOE 

And  the  prince  said  he  'd  never  tasted  anything  like 
the  cocktails  that  Papa  is  onto. 

DORIS 

Even  Mrs.  Blythe  said  that  she  could  n't  see  why  he 
was  n't  an  Ambassador. 

CHLOE 

And  the  other  night  at  the  opera  Constantina  Tretore 
kept  half  of  the  Peerage  waiting  while  Papa  was 
congratulating  her  after  the  second  act.  She  says 
he  is  the  keenest  critic  she  has. 

DORIS 

You  know  it  was  quite  fortunate,  in  a  way,  that 
Roddy  raked  up  Zimzapanzi,  wasn't  it? 

CHLOE 

You  know  perfectly  well  how  I  feel  about  that,  Doris. 
Why  mention  it? 

DORIS 

Well,  it  was  n't  Roddy's  fault  that  Zimzapanzi  did  n't 
remember  you,  Chloe.  But  you  're  never  grateful  for 
anything. 

CHLOE 

Why  should  I  be  grateful  for  having  my  past  re 
called? 


ACT  in]  PAPA  71 

DORIS 

You  're  always  recalling  it  yourself.  You  've  filled 
three  diaries  on  the  strength  of  that  one  affair,  you 
know. 

CHLOE 

Be  that  as  it  may,  Doris  —  think  of  what  I  had  to 
suffer  in  humiliation,  at  being  forgotten. 

DORIS 

Think  of  what  we  all  would  have  suffered  if  Zimza- 
panzi  had  made  a  mistake  and  picked  out  the  wrong 
one  —  right  before  Roddy !  You  ought  to  be  grate 
ful  to  your  dying  day  that  he  had  the  sense  to  wait 
and  find  out  which  one  of  us  was  his  child's  mother 
before  he  said  anything.  You  've  got  to  admit  that 
he  's  been  a  perfect  dear  about  introducing  us  to 
people  —  and  about  Dolores.  He  's  simply  devoted 
to  her. 

CHLOE 

But  I  shall  never  consent  to  Dolores'  spending  the 
summer  with  him.     I  have  no  idea  what  sort  of  per 
son  his  wife  is  —  or  what  sort  of  children  she  might 
.  be  allowed  to  know. 

DORIS 

Oh,  they  've  been  divorced  for  ages :  did  n't  you  know 
that?  Mademoiselle  would  go  with  Dolores,  and  if 
Roddy  says  "  yes,"  you  '11  have  to  be  a  sport  and 
stand  for  it. 

CHLOE 

It  is  simply  infamous  —  not  having  a  word  to  say 
about  what  happens  to  one's  own  child. 

DORIS 

But  she  's  Zimzapanzi's,  too.  You  can't  get  around 
that.  You  '11  have  to  act  just  as  you  would  if  you  'd 


72  PAPA  [ACT  m 

been  married  and  divorced  —  no  matter  how  much 

you  may  hate  him. 

[Enter    Papa  —  looking    excessively    English,    and 

speaking  more  so. 
PAPA 

Good  morning,  daughters ! 

[They  run  to  him,  pleased  at   this  diversion,  with 

kisses  and  greetings. 
DORIS  AND  CHLOE  (together) 

Good  morning,  Papa,  darling!    (They  cling  to  his 

arms  prettily) 

DORIS 

How  are  you  this  morning,  dear? 
CHLOE 

Did  you  sleep  well,  dear? 
DORIS 

Have  you  had  your  breakfast,  dear? 
CHLOE 

Are  you  going  out,  dear? 
DORIS 

You  're  looking  well,  dear.     Do  you  feel  better  ? 
PAPA 

My  darling  daughters,  I  've  come  to  confess  some 
thing.     Let  us  be  seated. 

[They  sit  in  an  affectionate  group. 
DORIS 

Now,  tell  us. 

CHLOE 

It  can't  be  anything  really  naughty. 
DORIS 

What  is  it  all  about,  dear? 
PAPA 

You  won't  be  vexed  with  me? 


ACT  m]  PAPA  73 

DORIS 

Of  course  not,  darling. 
CHXOE 

How  simply  beautifully  that  coat  fits ! 
DORIS  (reproving  Chloe  with  a  look) 

Papa  is  in  trouble,  Chloe!    (To  Papa)    Now  tell  us, 

dear. 
PAPA 

It 's  about  my  future ;   I  —  I  want  to  settle  down  — 
DORIS  AND  CHLOE  (together,  with  amazement) 

Settle  down! 
PAPA 

And  get  to  work  — 
DORIS  AND  CHLOE  (together,  with  horror) 

Work! 

PAPA 

And  amount  to  something  — 

DORIS  AND  CHLOE  (together  with  utter  stupefaction) 
Amount  to  something! 

PAPA 

Do  something !     Be  of  use ! 
DORIS  AND  CHLOE  (together,  -feebly) 
Of  use ! 

PAPA 

To  myself !    To  my  country ! 
CHLOE  (with  relief) 

To  your  country!    Oh!     Is  that  all? 
DORIS  (getting  his  idea) 

You  want  to  be  an  Ambassador!     Mrs.  Blythe  has 

been  putting  it  into  your  head ! 
CHLOE 

Which  country  will  you  take,  dear? 


74  PAPA  [ACT  in 

PAPA 

There,  there,  my  darlings ;  you  have  the  idea  but  not 
all  —  all  the  details. 

DORIS 

What  else? 

CHLOE 

Go  on,  dear. 
PAPA 

I  want  —  I  think  I  ought  —  I  —  how  can  I  express 

it? 
DORIS  AND  CHLOE  (together,  hopefully) 

Money  ? 
PAPA 

No,  my  angels  —  it 's  —  it 's  —  getting  married ! 
DORIS  AND  CHLOE  (together  in  absolute  astonishrrtfnt) 

Getting  married!    Oh!    Oh!    Oh! 

CHLOE 

Why,  Papa!     (She  begins  to  sob  and  falls  into  his 

arms) 
DORIS 

Why  —  why  —  Papa.    (She  is  angry  enough  to  find 

that  she  has  to  fight  back  the  tears;    she  too  is  in 

Papa's  arms  and  lie  comforts  both) 
PAPA 

There  —  there !    My  treasures !    Forgive  me !  Don't 

cry!    (He  begins  to  cry  himself)     I  —  I  love  you 

more  than  life  itself,  my  angels ! 
DORIS 

How  —  how  can  you  think  of  such  a  thing,  Papa? 
CHLOE 

Are  n't  we  good  enough  for  you  ? 


ACT  m]  PAPA  75 

DORIS 

What  vile  woman  has  been  trying  to  entangle  you, 
dear  ? 

CHLOE 

You  're  too  good,  Papa.    You  've  let  some  designing 
creature  work  on  your  sympathies!     You  ought  to 
be  more  careful. 
DORIS 

You  have  n't  gone  and  asked  anybody,  yet  —  have 
you? 

PAPA 

Now  —  now  —  now  —  now!    (He  tries  to  be  sooth 
ing,  but  both  fly  up  at  him) 

CHLOE  AND  DORIS  (together,  accus'wgly) 
Have  you,  Papa? 
[There  is  a  pause.    Papa  pulls  himself  together. 

PAPA 

Forgive  me,  but  —  I  thought  you  'd  approve ! 

DORIS 

Who  is  she? 

CHLOE 

Yes,  who  is  she? 
PAPA 

Mrs.  Blythe. 
CHLOE  AND  DORIS  (together,  in  quite  a  different  tone) 

Oh! 

PAPA 

You  do  approve,  don't  you,  my  angels? 
CHLOE  AND  DORIS  (delighted) 

Of  course,  Papa. 
PAPA 

Only  —  she  —  she  has  n't  accepted  me  yet. 


76  PAPA  [ACT  m 

DORIS 

What 's  wrong? 

CHLOE 

Has  she  given  you  hope? 
PAPA 

She  —  she  's  practically  said  "  yes  "  —  but  — 
CHLOE 

All  sorts  of  kings  have  been  wild  about  her. 
DORIS 

For  heaven's  sake,  Chloe,  that  is  n't  the  point,  now. 

Go  on,  Papa;  why  did  she  say  she  hesitated? 
PAPA 

She  thinks  I  ought  to  do  something  —  write  a  great 

book  —  or  be  an  Ambassador  —  or  buy  a  newspaper 

—  or  a  string  of  horses  —  something. 
DORIS 

Well,  you  've  got  to  do  it  then.     We  '11  get  Roddy 

on  the  job.    Wait  a  minute.    (She  goes  into  the  next 

room) 
CHLOE 

Why  on  earth  would  she  marry  anybody ! 
PAPA  (proudly) 

I  have  reason  to  think  that  she  cherishes  an  affection 

for  me. 
CHLOE 

Of  course !     That  must  be  it !     She  's  in  love ! 
DORIS  (returns) 

I  've  sent  Louise  for  Roddy.    We  '11  have  a  consulta 
tion.    Where  's  Dick? 
CHLOE 

I  '11  have  Marguerite  find  him.   (She  goes  out  through 

the  door  opposite  the  one  Doris  used) 


ACT  m]  PAPA  77 

DORIS  (to  Papa) 

Now,  dear,  which  thing  do  you  like  best  —  horses  or 
newspapers  or  books  or  diplomacy? 

PAPA 

That  is  what  I  've  been  asking  myself. 
[Mr.  Roderick  enters  through  the  door  that  Doris 
used.     At  the  same  instant  Chloe  brings  Dick  from 
the  opposite  room. 

CHLOE 

Here  he  is ! 

[There  are  greetings  between  them  all,  and  a  slight 
tendency  to  talk  at  once.  Presently  they  are  all 
seated  about  the  room  in  attentive  fashion,  and  Doris 
has  the  floor. 

DORIS 

Roddy  —  you  and  Dick  must  do  some  very  intelli 
gent  thinking.  This  is  a  matter  of  importance. 
We  Ve  got  to  decide  on  Papa's  future.  He  's  going 
in  for  a  career. 

MR.    RODERICK 

A  career  for  Papa?     Quite  so! 
DICK 

What  for? 

MR.    RODERICK 

Are  you  strong  enough  for  that  sort  of  thing? 
DORIS 

Oh,  are  you  strong  enough,  Papa? 

CHLOE 

Yes,  are  you,  Papa? 
PAPA 

It  wouldn't  be  arduous,  would  it?  We  must  select 
nothing  too  arduous. 


78  PAPA  [ACT  m 

DICK 

Any  sort  of  career  is  arduous,  and  a  bore,  and  a  lot 

of  work.     What 's  the  idea,  anyway? 
CHLOE 

It  will  surprise  you  very  much,  but  — 
DORIS 

But  Papa  is  going  to  get  married ! 

MR.    RODERICK 

Papa  get  married? 
DICK 

Who's  the  girl? 

MR.    RODERICK 

Married?     Is  it  advisable? 
DORIS 

Do  hush,  Roddy:  it 's  —  Mrs.  Blythe! 

[Dick  gives  a  long  whistle,  eloquent  of  the  fact  that 

he  is  impressed.    So  is  Mr.  Roderick. 

MR.    RODERICK 

Mrs.  Blythe ! 

DORIS 

And  she  wants  him  to  do  something! 

MR.    RODERICK 

Quite  so!     Of  course!     Anything  in  mind?    (He  is 

reverential  in  putting  the  question  to  Papa) 
PAPA 

It  lies  between  three  or  four  suggestions  of  the  lady 

herself  —  racing,    buying   a    newspaper,   writing    a 

book,  or  diplomacy. 
CHLOE 

Papa  ought  to  write  a  book. 
DICK 

That 's  easy.     Go  in  for  a  stable. 


ACT  m]  PAPA  79 

MR.  RODERICK 

They  say  Wilkins  wants  to  sell  his  Paris  and  London 
papers.    They  've  put  him  into  things  over  here. 
DORIS 

It  is  as  plain  as  the  nose  on  a  man's  face  that  Papa 
ought  to  be  an  Ambassador.  Who  's  president  now? 
You  fix  it  up  with  him,  don't  you  —  or  with  a  Secre 
tary  or  assistant  or  something? 

CHLOE 

What   I  want   to   know   is  —  which   country?      She 
knows  everybody,  every  place,  of  course! 
[A  knock  is  heard  on  the  door. 

DORIS 

Come  in. 
THE  MAID  (enters  from  the  private  hall) 

Mrs.  Blythe  is  downstairs  and  wishes  to  know  if  Mrs. 

Roderick  is  at  home. 

[There  is  an  intense  pause. 
DORIS 

Tell  them  to  bring  her  up,  at  once,  Louise. 

THE    MAID 

Yes,  Madame. 

[The  Maid  goes  out.    The  pause  continues. 
DORIS 

I  wonder  —  what  — ?    Fancy  her  coming ! 
PAPA 

I  wilj  go  to  my  rooms  while  you  receive  her. 
DORIS 

I  '11  come  for  you  myself,  dear,  if  she  asks  for  you. 

If  not,  come  back  accidentally. 
PAPA 

Thank  you,  my  dear.    I  understand  perfectly. 


80  PAPA  [ACT  m 

DICK 

I  say  —  why  is  she  willing  to  marry  anyone  ? 
DORIS 

Oh,  yes,  papa, — why  is  she  willing  to  get  married? 

I  forgot  to  ask. 
CHLOE 

She  's  in  love  with  papa ! 

MR.    RODERICK 

Quite  so.  .  .  .  Oh,  how  very  flattering! 

PAPA 

Let  us   hope   that  my   darling  Chloe   does   not  ex 
aggerate.    You  will  excuse  me? 

[With  the  modest  grace  of  a  hero  he  goes  out  of  the 
door  at  the  back.    Another  impressive  pause  follows. 

DORIS 

Do  I  look  all  right,  Chloe? 

CHLOE 

Put  that  hairpin  that   is   coming  out,  in.     Yes  — 
you  're  very  attractive.     Am  I? 
DORIS 

Yes,  exceedingly.  (Pause)  How  ugly  hotel  rooms 
are !  None  of  one's  own  pictures  —  or  — 
[There  is  a  ring  at  a  doorbell.  A  hush  falls  on 
everybody  as  Doris  and  Chloe  move  toward  the  door 
and  Mr.  Roderick  and  Dick  rise  and  stand  waiting. 
Louise  opens  the  door  from  the  little  private  hall, 
and  Mrs.  Blythe  steps  into  the  room.  She  is  a  spec 
tacular  person,  though  gotten  up  with  the  most  ele 
gant  and  daring  ease.  Her  clothes,  draped  about  her, 
caught  here  and  there  in  unexpected  places,  are  mar 
vellous  and  picturesque.  Her  hat  proclaims  sim 
plicity,  but  its  plumage  from  Birds  of  Paradise  looks 
priceless.  On  her  breast  is  a  simple  aerial  cluster  of 


ACT  m]  PAPA  81 

mauve  orchids.  She  is  slightly  lame,  but  instead  of 
ignoring  the  fact  she  makes  it  the  occasion  for  carry 
ing  a  tall  Shepherd's  Crook  of  black  enamel,  chastely 
decorated  with  a  monogram  of  diamonds,  and  with 
casual  designs  of  diamonds  set  on  its  handle.  She 
is  rather  tall,  very  erect,  and  her  face,  only  inciden 
tally,  is  beautiful.  To-day  she  is  intimate  and  charm 
ing,  in  a  mood  to  let  everyone  flatter  and  pet  and  love 
her.  Nevertheless  she  is  a  very  grand  person  as  she 
makes  her  entrance. 

DORIS  AND  CHLOE  (together,  with  eager  and  pretty 
courtesy)  Mrs.  Blythe!  How  good  of  you!  How 
kind! 

\When  Mrs.  Blythe  is  well  into  the  room  she  looks 
from  one  to  another  with  wide  eyes  and  a  very  bright 
steadfast  smile. 

MRS.    BLYTHE 

Are  you  utterly  amazed  at  my  pastoral  hour?  It 
is  n't  twelve  o'clock  yet.  I  scarcely  hoped  to  find 
anyone  at  home.  It  is  my  good  luck.  Freddy  brings 
me  good  luck.  Freddy  is  my  little  Hindoo  idol.  I 
burn  incense  to  Freddy  every  night.  I  've  had  him 
ever  since  I  was  sixteen,  and  I  've  never  had  bad 
luck  except  when  I  forgot  his  incense.  You  don't 
think  I  'm  silly,  do  you? 

CHLOE 

Of  course,  we  don't. 

DORIS 

Do  you  really  believe  in  him,  Mrs.  Blythe? 

MRS.    BLYTHE 

Well  —  I  don't  pray  to  Freddy ;  but  I  'd  never  risk 
offending  him,  you  know.  He  always  gets  his  in 
cense  if  I  think  of  it  —  and  if  my  maid  forgets  it,  and 


82  PAPA  [ACT  m 

anything  happens,  I  always  make  it  a  point  to  dis 
miss  her.     As  I  was  saying,  Freddy  brings  me  good 
luck:    I  know  he  does,  even  though  he  has  shocked 
several  bishops.     Has  your  father  gone  out? 
DORIS 

I  think  not;  may  I  tell  him  that  you  are  here,  Mrs. 
Ely  the? 

CHLOE 

He  will  feel  so  slighted  if  we  don't. 

MRS.    BLYTHE  • 

You  are  very  fond  of  your  father,  aren't  you? 
CHLOE  AND  DORIS  (together) 
Oh,  yes,  Mrs.  Blythe ! 

MRS.   BLYTHE 

Yes,  tell  him. 

DORIS 

Thank  you,  Mrs.  Blythe.     (She  goes  quickly  into  the 
next  room) 
CHLOE 

We  saw  you  at  the  opera  last  night.  Papa  said  that 
he  would  take  you  our  love. 

MRS.   BLYTHE 

Yes. 

DICK 

I  thought  it  was  rather  good  —  the  opera,  you 
know  —  for  an  opera. 

MRS.  BLYTHE  (languidly) 

I  never  care  much  for  Tretore  —  but  Zimzapanzi 
sang  beautifully.  And  of  course  Schoen  conducted 
with  his  most  magnificent  arm  movements. 

DICK 

Yes,  I  got  that ! 


ACT  m]  PAPA  83 

MRS.  BLYTHE 

I  've  often  longed  to  conduct  an  orchestra  myself. 
Really,  now  that  I  think  of  it,  I  believe  that  I  shall ! 
Let  me  put  it  down  for  my  secretary  to  make  a  note 
of —  (She  writes  on  a  tiny  engagement  pad  that  is 
attached  to  her  gold  bag)  I  might  as  well  as  not, 
at  something  for  charity,  you  know. 
CHLOE 

How  clever  you  are,  dear  Mrs.  Blythe ! 
[Doris  comes  back  mto  the  room. 

MRS.  BLYTHE 

Well,  I  am  clever  —  and  I  am  not.     I  don't  know 
anything  at  all  about  music,  but  I  do  know  that  I 
have  good  arms  and  a  back. 
PAPA  (enters) 

My  dear  Mrs.  Blythe ! 

[Mrs.  Blythe's  manner  suddenly  turns  into  some- 
tiling  a  little  shy  and  youthful,  but  very  well  done. 
She  is  changing  her  roles:  evidently  she  likes  the 
new  one.  She  gives  her  hand  to  Papa,  who  kisses  it. 
Papa  has  changed  his  tie  and  put  on  white  spats. 
She  looks  at  him  approvingly. 

MRS.   BLYTHE 

I  am  in  a  mood  this  morning,  my  friend. 
PAPA 

How  delightful,  since  it  brought  you  to  us ! 

MRS.   BLYTHE 

But  my  moods  are  like  good  winds  that  always  blow 
somebody  ill.     I  don't  mean  to  be  disastrous  —  but 
I  am. 
PAPA 

We  will  willingly  be  your  victims,  dear  lady. 


84  PAPA  [ACT  m 

MRS.   BLYTHE 

Don't  promise  too   soon:    now  what  do  you   think 
this  mood  made  me  do? 
DORIS  AND  CHLOE  (together) 
Oh,  do  tell  us ! 

MRS.    BLYTHE 

I  awoke  hating  everything.  *  Then  I  thought :  "  I 
particularly  hate  that  stupid  Princess  with  whom  I 
am  to  have  luncheon  !  I  won't  go  to  her !  "  Was  n't 
that  bad  of  me ! 

CHLOE 

Good  gracious !    But  what  could  you  do  about  it? 

PAPA 

Charming!     Perfectly  charming! 

MRS.   BLYTHE 

You  have  n't  heard  the  worst.  I  got  the  Prince  on 
the  telephone.  I  said  to  him :  "  I  can't  come  to 
luncheon  to-day  with  Her  Highness.  I  don't  want  to. 
What  shall  I  do  about  it?" 

DORIS 

What  did  he  say?     Was  he  angry? 

MRS.   BLYTHE 

Angry?  Oh,  dear  no:  he  knows  what  a  bore  she  is, 
and  he  's  charming:  he  asked  me  if  I  preferred  him, 
but  when  I  said  "  no,  not  to-day,"  he  said  for  me  to 
go  on  and  do  what  I  liked,  and  he  'd  have  her  send 
me  a  note  not  to  come.  You  see?  Well,  then  I 
thought  that  I  'd  like  to  surprise  someone.  So  here 
I  am!  You  see? 
DORIS 

How  perfectly  original  you  are ! 

MR.    RODERICK 

I  say,  quite  so! 


ACT  in]  PAPA  85 

CHLOE 

No  wonder  people  say  you  're  unusual ! 
DICK 

It 's  awfully  clever  of  you,  really,  to  turn  'em  down 

when  you  feel  like  it. 
PAPA  (indulgently,  with  unconcealed  affection) 

What   a   child!     What    a   delightful,    dear,    spoiled 

child! 

[These  words  go  straight   to  Mrs.  Blythe's  heart. 

'She  becomes  sweet  and  young  as  a  breath  of  violets. 

MRS.   BLYTHE 

And  now  you  must  come  and  play  with  me.     I  feel 
just  like  playing. 
DORIS 

But  dear  Mrs.  Blythe,  suppose  Her  Highness  found 
out? 

CHLOE 

Yes,  suppose  she  did? 

DICK 

By  jove! 

[Everyone  is  anxious. 

MRS.  BLYTHE  (superbly) 

She  won't !  And  even  if  she  did,  I  should  not  care. 
It  is  no  distinction  for  me  to  be  her  friend.  She  is 
so  indiscriminately  exclusive. 

DORIS 

Indiscriminately  exclusive !    You  mean  — 

PAPA 
Oh  yes ! 

[Everyone  realizes  by  Mrs.  Blythe1  s  manner  that 
she  has  been  clever.  They  applaud  her  with  smiles 
and  flattering  attitudes.  She  is  ready  now  for  some 
thing  else.  She  turns  to  Papa. 


86  PAPA  [ACT  m 

MRS.   BLYTHE 

Now  what  are  you  going  to  do  with  me? 
PAPA  (charmingly,  with  meaning) 

Keep  you  —  just  as  long  as  we  can! 
MRS.  BLYTHE  (evading  but  recognizing  his  intention) 

You  're  lunching  with  somebody?    I  will  go  with  you. 

Where? 

DORIS 

Madame  Tretore's.     Of   course,  she  'd  love  having 
you. 

MRS.   BLYTHE 

No  —  she  wouldn't.  But  I'll  go  just  the  same. 
We  're  perfectly  good-natured  enemies.  We  love 
putting  each  other  out.  But  I  was  rather  hoping 
that  we  might  go  to  the  country.  I  'd  love  to  be 
quaint  to-day  and  stop  somewhere  and  drink  milk. 
PAPA 

Could  n't  I  persuade  you  — ? 

MRS.  BLYTHE 

Alone  — !    My  dear  man. 
PAPA 

But  dear  lady ! 

MRS.  BLYTHE 

Oh!     I  remember  now  why  I  came!     There  was  a 
reason,  too!     Read  that!     (She  finds  a  letter  in  her 
bag  and  gives  it   to  Papa)      I  don't  believe  it,  of 
course  —  but  this  sort  of  thing  is  inconvenient. 
[Papa  reads  the  letter  and  fidgets.     There  is  an 
intense  pause.    He  catches  Doris'  eye.    She  realizes 
something  is  wrong. 
DORIS 

May  I  —  too  ? 


ACT  m]  PAPA  87 

MRS.   BLYTHE 

Oh  yes,  all  of  you.    It  is  nothing  of  any  consequence ; 

of  any  deep  consequence  .   .  .  just  unpleasant. 
PAPA  (engineering  something,  as  he  hands  the  letter  to 

Doris)      Dick,   my  boy  —  I   forgot.      Will   you   do 

something  for  me? 

[Papa  goes  over  to  Dick,  who  rises,  and  speaks  in 

a  low  voice.    Dick  is  obliging. 
DICK 

Of  course,  right  away.     (He  turns  to  the  others) 

You  '11  excuse  me?     I  won't  be  long. 
PAPA  (explaining) 

It  is  a  very  necessary  errand. 

[The  others  simply  look  up  and  accept  the  incident 

as  Dick  goes  out.    The  door  closes.    Doris  has  given 

the  note  to  Chloe.     An  intense  pause  still  reigns. 
MRS.  BLYTHE  (suddenly) 

Perhaps  I  should  not  have  concerned  myself  with  a 

family  matter  —  but —     (She  grows  shy) 
CHLOE  (reading) 

Good  heavens ! 
DORIS 

Read  it,  Roddy ! 
PAPA  (to  Mrs.  Blythe  as  Mr.  Roderick  reads  the  note) 

It  was  splendid  of  you,  splendid ! 

MRS.   BLYTHE 

But  as  I  was  saying,  my  dear  friend,  only  last  night 
I  definitely  decided  to  marry  you  — 
PAPA  (ecstatically,  taking  her  hand) 
Not  —  not  really  and  truly ! 

MRS.   BLYTHE 

Yes  —  really  and  truly.     I  decided  we  could  settle 


88  PAPA  [ACT  m 

on  a  career  for  you  afterwards.     In  fact,  I  'm  not 
sure  that  I  want  you  to  have  one  now ! 
PAPA 

This  is  too  good.     I  can't  believe  it! 

MRS.   BLYTHE 

I  thought  you  'd  be  glad,  and  I  meant  to  telephone 
quite  early  —  then  this  note  came.     Of  course,  it  is 
sheer  blackmail  —  or  from  somebody  who  is  jealous 
of  you. 
PAPA  (drooping  a  little) 

Yes,  yes  —  a  rival,  no  doubt.     The  cad ! 
[There  is  a  slight  pause.     Everyone  is  silent,  think 
ing  and  perplexed. 

MRS.   BLYTHE 

It 's  nonsense,  really,  but  I  thought  I  ought  to  know 
the  straight  of  things.  I  'm  a  woman  of  the  world, 
dear  friend.  I  'm  not  provincial.  I  left  America  at 
the  time  of  my  first  marriage.  Certainly  no  one  has 
ever  called  me  narrow-minded.  I  was  one  of  the  first 
women  of  my  acquaintance  to  go  in  for  Socialism. 
I  have  no  intention  now  of  being  curious  or  of  blam 
ing  you  for  some  past  romance  which,  everyone  in 
London  whispers,  must  have  been  very  romantic  and 
beautiful.  Your  attitude  has  been  all  that  anyone 
could  desire  —  but  I  think  that  the  situation  ought 
to  be  explained  to  me  if  I  am  to  become  your  wife. 
I  love  children.  I  have  often  been  god-mother.  I 
might  become  attached  to  this  one.  But  I  think  I 
ought  to  know  if  the  mother  is  living  or  dead  —  or 
whether  or  not  she  would  be  likely  to  take  the  child 
away  just  as  I  got  fond  of  her.  You  see?  Then, 
again,  how  could  I  feel  as  fond  of  her  as  I  should 
unless  I  knew  what  her  antecedents  were?  You  see? 


ACT  m]  PAPA  89 

DORIS 

But  it  isn't  Papa  who  adopted  her,  Mrs.   Blythe. 
Roddy  and  I  did  it.     We  mean  to  keep  her  always. 
We  consider  her  our  child. 
CHLOE 

Mrs.  Blythe  —  you  must  n't  think  it  is  Papa.  I  — 
I  —  I  must  tell  the  truth  at  last !  Dolores  is  my 
child. 

[There  is  consternation  and  surprise.  Doris  and 
Papa,  this  time,  are  utterly  floored;  but  Mr.  Rod 
erick  advances  with  his  tale. 

MR.   RODERICK 

Do   not   heed  her,   Mrs.   Blythe.      No   doubt   Chloe 
means  well,  but  she  misunderstands  your  attitude  on 
this  subject,  and  is  needlessly  excited.     I  see  that 
you  are  concerned,  not  with  her  father's  past,  but 
with  the  child  herself  —  with  her  birth  as  it  affects 
her  position  in  this  family.     Quite  right.     But  let 
me  assure  you  that  this  note  is   a  lie.     The  child 
belongs  to  Doris  —  my  wife ! 
MRS.  BLYTHE  (bewildered) 
Really? 

MR.    RODERICK 

It  is  entirely  true.    Before  my  wife  would  marry  me, 
she  told  me  of  this  one  lamentable  incident  for  which 
no  one  could  possibly  blame  her  —  least  of  all  I. 
DORIS 

Roddy  was  simply  wonderful,  Mrs.  Blythe.  He  is  so 
magnanimous.  He  adopted  Dolores  as  soon  as  we  'd 
been  married  a  proper  length  of  time. 

MR.    RODERICK 

Doris'  father,  with  the  greatest  discretion  and  sym 
pathy,  had  watched  over  and  cared  for  the  welfare 


90  PAPA  [ACT  m 

of  her  child  until  that  time.  Now  little  Dolores  is 
ours.  She  will  never  embarrass  you. 

MRS.  BLYTHE 

Oh,  oh !  I  see.  But  —  but,  on  the  whole,  I  think  it 
is  in  better  taste  to  let  the  rumors  remain  undis 
turbed.  A  young  girl,  you  know  —  really !  One 
can  never  quite  reconcile  such  things.  It  looks  as 
though  she  had  not  been  well  brought  up. 

MR.    RODERICK 

Quite  so,  and  for  that  reason  precisely  I  am  pre 
pared  to  assume,  by  inference,  the  child's  parentage. 
Even  my  brother-in-law  suspects  me  of  some  past 
entanglement. 
DORIS 

But  Roddy  —  I  don't  want  people  to  think  that  you 
ever  cared  enough  for  someone  else  to  adopt  her 
child. 

MRS.  BLYTHE 

It  is  often  done,  my  dear,  especially  in  the  house 
holds  of  the  great  continental  families.     (Her  tone 
is  a  reproof) 
PAPA 

And  now,  dear  lady,  that  this  matter  has  been  set 
straight  — ? 

MRS.  BLYTHE 

Now,  really,  I  must  go.  I  have  decided  that  I  don't 
want  to  see  Tretore  to-day.  Tretore  always  talks 
about  Tretore  —  and  that  bores  me.  I  forgot. 

PAPA 

But  suppose  that  we  go  to  the  country  instead  — 
and  drink  milk. 

MRS.  BLYTHE  (relenting  a  little) 
Could  you? 


ACT  m]  PAPA  91 

DORIS 

Oh    yes!     We    can    send    Madam    Tretore    a    note. 
Roddy  writes  beautiful  ones. 
PAPA  (to  Mrs.  Ely  the) 
Could  n't  you? 

MRS.  BLYTHE 

I  might  —  if  you  really  want  to  play  with  me  instead 

of  Tretore. 
PAPA 

Of  course. 
MRS.  BLYTHE  ( t o  the  others) 

Then  run  and  get  ready,  and  in  five  minutes  I  '11  know 

whether  I  feel  like  it  or  not. 
DORIS 

Come,    Roddy.      You  'd    better    have    Dick    paged, 

Chloe. 

CHLOE 
I  Will. 

[Doris  and  Mr.  Roderick  go  out  through  one  door, 
Chloe  through  another.    Mrs.  Ely  the  is  not  quite  her 
self.    She  seems  a  little  put  out  with  Papa.    He  feels 
this;  his  tact  is  infinite,  his  charm  exquisite. 
PAPA  (taking  her  hand) 

A  little  cloud  has  floated  across  the  clear  blue  sky 
of  your  soul,  my  dear. 

[Mrs.  Blythe  cannot  quite  resist  this,  but  she  is  still 
put  out  and  sulks  a  little.  She  evades  him. 

MRS.  BLYTHE 

I  think  you  'd  better  have  a  career.  After  all,  a  man 
ought  to  have  a  career  or  a  romance  —  something 
to  distinguish  him;  in  other  words,  a  future  or  a 
past. 


92  PAPA  [ACT  in 

PAPA 

You  have  only  to  suggest  what  you  want  me  to  do. 

MRS.-BLYTHE 

Who  is  the  child's  other  parent,  anyway? 
PAPA 

A  very  famous  person,  my  dear:  a  great  opera 
singer :  but  —  really,  I  ought  not  to  say  more  — 
perhaps  you  can  surmise  without  my  speaking. 

MRS.  BLYTHE 

Why  —  it  really  is  romantic,  is  n't  it?  Quite  a  fas 
cinating  mystery,  in  fact! 

[She  seems  pleased  and  muses.  Doris  and  Mr. 
Roderick  enter.  Doris  has  on  her  motor  things. 
Mr.  Roderick  has  a  note  in  his  hand. 

DORIS 

Read  it,  Roddy.     How  's  this,  Papa? 

MR.    RODERICK 

"  Dear  Madame  Tretore :  We  are  great  blunderers. 
That  we  were  going  to  the  country  to-day  certainly 
escaped  us  when  we  made  our  engagement  for  lunch 
eon  with  you.  We  are  sorry  —  and  we  hope  you 
will  be  —  but  we  are  afraid  that  you  will  draw  a 
breath  of  relief.  With  deep  regrets  from  all,"  etc. 

MRS.  BLYTHE 

She  will  know  that  something  's  up  —  it 's  so  civil. 
\_Chloe  and  Dick  enter  from  the  other  room.  Chloe 
has  her  motor  things  on^  Dick  holds  a  note. 

DICK  (to  Papa)  ££P 

Here  's  a  telegram.  I  found  it  in  the  box  down 
stairs.  I  landed  on  the  clerk  for  not  sending  it  up. 

CHLOE  AND  DORIS  (together) 

Oh,  read  it,  Papa!  ^What  is  it,  Papa? 


ACT  m]  PAPA  93 

PAPA  (opens  the  letter,  glances  through  it  and  reads 
aloud)  It's  from  Madame  Tretore.  "Don't  come! 
I  'm  going  some  place  with  Zimzapanzi  to  get  mar 
ried.  Read  the  details  in  the  papers,  as  I  really  don't 
know  exactly  where,  when,  or  how.  Fearfully  rushed. 
Zimzapanzi  says  that  we  must  have  little  Dolores  for 
our  vacation.  Of  course,  I  insist  also.  Love  to  the 
little  dear.  Affectionately,  Tina." 

CHLOE 
Oh! 

DORIS 

How  exciting! 

MR.    RODERICK 

How  satisfactory! 
DICK 

Why  is  everyone  so  keen  on  the  kiddie? 

MRS.  BLYTHE 

Now  are  we  all  ready? 
PAPA 

In  just  an  instant,  if  you  '11  pardon  me.     (He  goes 
out) 

MR.    RODERICK 

Just  a  second.     (He  too  goes  out) 
DICK 

In  a  minute.     (He  too  goes  out) 
MRS.  BLYTHE  (turns  to  Doris  and  Chloe) 

Come  here,  my  dears. 

[They  go  to  her.    She  takes  a  hand  of  each. 

MRS.  BLYTHE 

You  love  your  father  very  much,  don't  you? 
CHLOE 

Of  course,  Mrs.  Blythe. 


94 PAPA [ACT  m 

DORIS 

He  's  the  noblest  man  in  the  world,  Mrs.  Blythe. 

MRS.    BLYTHE 

You  'd  do  anything  for  him? 
DORIS  AND  CHLOE   (together) 
Oh,  of  course,  Mrs.  Blythe. 

MRS.    BLYTHE 

Will  you  love  me  too? 
DORIS 

You  're  perfectly  wonderful,  dear  Mrs.  Blythe ! 
CHLOE 

You  're  the  only  woman  in  the  world  we  'd  let  Papa 

marry,  Mrs.  Blythe! 
MR.  RODERICK  (enters  with  his  coat  on,  his  stick,  gloves 

and  hat  in  his  hand)     I  am  ready. 
DICK  (enters  with  his  coat  on  from  another  direction, 

carrying  hat,  gloves  and  stick)     Ready. 
PAPA   (enters  from  the  rear;    he  also  wears  his  coat 

and  carries  his  gloves,  hat  and  stick)     Now! 
MRS.  BLYTHE  ( t o  the  others) 

We  will  follow  you.    My  motor  is  waiting.    You  can 

find  it  for  us. 

[Doris,    Chloe,   Dick   and  Mr.    Roderick   assent   in 

chorus    and    are    gone.      Papa   goes    toward  Mrs. 

Blythe. 

PAPA 

Now,  dear  lady? 

MRS.    BLYTHE 

I  just  wanted  to  tell  you,  my  dear,  that  I  under 
stand.  Your  daughters  have  shown  great  devotion 
—  especially  Doris.  Her  husband  evidently  believes 
her  story.  I  consider  the  matter  beautifully  settled, 
and  am  quite  content  to  let  things  stand  as  they  are. 


ACT  HI]  PAPA  95 

You  have  conducted  yourself  with  great  gallantry, 
but  I  perceive  the  truth,  although  I  understand  that 
you  may  wish  to  protest  in  order  to  protect  her.  I 
can  be  as  generous  as  Zimzapanzi.  I  cannot  blame 
you.  Tretore  is  very  beautiful  and  very  good. 
She  has  been  singularly  eccentric  about  her  reputa 
tion.  Kings  have  failed  where  you  succeeded.  I 
wonder  if  the  child  will  have  a  voice.  I  prefer  my 
engagement  ring  to  be  set  with  a  single  ruby.  I  love 
rubies:  I  always  have. 

[Papa  perceives  that  she  has  thrust  him  into  an  un 
comfortably  false  position,  but,  smce  that  is  where 
she  wishes  him  to  sit,  he  resolves  heroically  to  do  so 
for  her  sake.  He  kisses  her  hand  and  looks  into  her 
eyes  with  the  humility  of  a  repentant  sinner  entering 
heaven. 
PAPA 

My  darling !  I  am  a  man !  There  has  been  much  in 
my  life  which  I  ask  you  to  forgive.  I  —  I  am  not 
worthy  of  you.  Yes,  Little  Dolores  sings  very  nicely, 
already.  I  shall  trust  my  son-in-law  to  find  me  the 
handsomest  ruby  in  Europe  for  the  most  beautiful 
hand  in  Europe.  Mr.  Roderick  is  quite  an  expert. 
You  have  made  me  very  proud.  Shall  we  go? 
[Mrs.  Blythe  takes  his  arm  affectionately  and  trust 
fully,  as  the  curtain  falls. 

CUBTAIN 


.  - 


THIS  BOOK  IS  DUE  ON  THE  LAST  DATE 
STAMPED  BELOW 

AN  INITIAL  FINE  OF  25  CENTS 

WILL  BE  ASSESSED  FOR  FAILURE  TO  RETURN 
THIS  BOOK  ON  THE  DATE  DUE.  THE  PENALTY 
WILL  INCREASE  TO  SO  CENTS  ON  THE  FOURTH 
DAY  AND  TO  $1.OO  ON  THE  SEVENTH  DAY 
OVERDUE. 


-4-138 


LD 


YB 


O   I    *    A  r\ 

O  I  HHO 


THE  UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 


